I Knew it all along...

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2008-02-12T11:28:00.000+05:30

Aa dinagalu - 2

2008-01-08T11:17:00.001+05:30

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Gurgaon

2007-08-19T08:53:00.000+05:30

Long time. Again. I'm not making any promises about posting regularly henceforth any more.

I'm now in Gurgaon, and have been here for a week. And i'm pretty disappointed. Not bored mind you! I have a great room, a free wireless internet connection and Cable TV. But something's missing.

And it's not just about being away from the city I love. It's being in a city I hate. The first thing that I look out for in a city (apart from the nearest store which sells chilled beer) is a reason to feel a sense of belonging, a reason to take back fond memories home. And Gurgaon gives me absolutely no reason to do so.

Gurgaon (or Gudgaunva, in the local dialect) is a village that saw quite a sudden transformation. From arid farmland, Gurgaon has now turned into a concrete jungle, with many high rise apartment complexes and malls. As a result of the real estate speculation that ensued, there has been a steep rise in prices of almost everything, making it virtually impossible for a middle class society to thrive. Everything here seems to be in extremes, either you see very rich people or the very poor.

You can build cities our of bricks and mortar, plan it well enough to have broad roads, but you cannot give it a soul, a culture...... and that, exactly, is what Gurgaon lacks.

Act till the age of 100...

2007-08-01T08:27:00.001+05:30

“Act till the age of 100, I have taken away only six years”
“Don’t get perturbed for you have many years to go and work like ‘Mackenna’s Gold’ actor Gregory Peck”

Heh. This. Kode is one heck of a comedian. But his timing sucks. No, really!!!!!

Shah Rukh to play world's first stammering robot

2007-07-31T13:08:00.001+05:30

In what appears to be an interesting development, Shankar (of Sivaji fame. If you still don't know,I'll safely assume that you've been living in a cave all these years) has signed on Shah Rukh Khan to play a Robot in his next venture, which is titled, err, Robot.

As the years have passed us by, when the toasters and the microwaves rule over us, they're gonna be particularly cruel to all those who paid to watch and enjoyed the movie, what with the stammering robot who can cry like the world's gonna end any moment, bringing disrepute to an entire race of robots.

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Performancing - ScribeFire

2007-07-31T12:51:00.001+05:30

I've now Installed the ScribeFire add-on to my Mozilla Browser. Hopefully this should make posting much more easier. You, dear reader, can expect to find many more posts henceforth, with a lot of links to a lot of (mostly) useless stuff, in here.

Yay!

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The first one in ages!!

2007-05-30T21:53:00.000+05:30
The ol' blog, after several months of neglect, is the object of my affection again.

Call it therapy, but it seems to be the best way to beat the boredom I feel here in Deutscheland. Well, things look better anyways, with the return ticket home all booked. India beckons!!

And now, I get back to what I do best. Pass unwarranted comments on Misc.

Even after the shock World Cup exit, I have always had faith inthe Men in Blue. There is no point in blaming them for trying to milk the cash cow. Any sportstar in their situation would do that. Also, if we lose faith in our national team, then which other team can we support?? Where's the sense of patriotism in rooting for the Aussies?? And don't give me "For love of the game" crap!

Anyways, their complete domination of the Bangladesh tour has made me very happy. Firstly, because the selectors did not do the stupid thing that was expected out of them, which was to sack Dravid. Secondly, the emergence of Dinesh Kaarthick and Dhoni as reliable bats. Looks like the future of Indian cricket is in good hands.

Moving on.....the movie front has been pretty dull lately. No new DVD buys, no theater visits for most part. 300 was the last, and I quite enjoyed it. I'm sure Frank Miller is proud of it too. The reason for the lull in movie watching is because I have taken to watching several Television shows on DVD. At first, I finished watching the entire set of The Wonder Years, after which I saw, and continue to watch, Lost, Prison Break and Heroes, all of the great shows in their own right. Watch 'em. They're higly recommended.

More will come. Promise. The holy cow has mooed.

Big Brother, the West Indies series and Movies

2007-01-19T09:50:00.000+05:30
All this hullabulloo about racist taunts on the Celebrity Big Brother show has me quite amused. What's new about racism anyways? We all know that it exists, and most of the Indian's living abroad have faced it, one time or another. And on Big Brother, most of the comments are either because of petty jealousy and sometimes immaturity. But the entire episode has given a great boost to the image of Shilpa Shetty, whose star was definitely ont he wane here at home. Guess all the publicity she's getting out of ths will bode well for her, and hopefully some international offers may also come her way.

The recent squad announced for the West Indies series does not come as a surprise for many. As expected, Sehwag and Pathan got the axe, while Ganguly makes a comeback. But I'm pretty friggin' excited about Robin Uthappa making a comeback into the national team after playing just 2 ODI's the last time around. He's been in great nick in the domestic season this time around, and hopefully he'll carry his form into the national side, putting pressure on Sehwag to retain his spot for the World Cup.

It's been quite some time since I saw a movie, be it on DVD or in a Movie Hall. However, this weekend promises much excitement on that front. I have quite a line-up of movies which are waiting to be watched. Will update and post reviews of the movies later.

Kodachadri beckoned again...

2007-01-15T16:23:00.000+05:30

I had to answer the call. Almost 2 years after my first trek there, I got a chance to revisit the place, thanks to my enthusiastic bunch of trekker friends. This time though, I was better prepared for the trek, thanks to my regular work-outs at the gym.

This trek was quite different from all my other previous treks. For one, we had a guide (a local kid called Ganapathi) who ensured that we visited the local Idlumane Waterfalls before we set out on the trail to the top. Secondly, the trail we took was not the most popular one. This one was longer than the other trails. And thirdly, after the trek, we ended up beach bumming in Kapu! All in all, a trek to remember.

Booze and Cricket do not mix

2007-01-08T11:42:00.000+05:30

Lots of expensive champagne, wine etc etc etc. And what does our cricket team do? They use it to trash their dressing room. And as a result, there might be an embarassing situation with the BCCI having to foot the repair bill (seemingly beyond cleaning, the dressing room), because the guys did not, in Rahul Dravid's words, drink their drink.

In other cricket news, Karnataka is now in the second place of Elite Gropu A of the Ranji Trophy. With one game to go against Saurashtra, Karnataka, on current form, and with the return of Dravid and Kumble to the team, can be assured of a place in the Semi-Finals.

Depressing

2007-01-05T08:46:00.000+05:30

Molestations in Mumbai. Murders near Noida. Attacks on tourists. Quite a grim day to be reading a newspaper. So much so, that I desparately tried to look for some good news. And I found none.

What grabbed my attention though, was the claim by the PWD minster of Uttar Pradesh, Mulayam Singh's brother, that these murders were normal and regular occurences. Whoa! What an irresponsible, insensitive piece of shit this guy is! Maybe his kid must be cut up, organs removed, and thrown in a gutter packed in a gunny bag for him to realise how heart rending this can be. And the cops, well, the lesser said about them, the better. Their lack of interest in doing their duty borders on the criminal. I pray for mob fury to boil over, and that they attack and lynch those shitheads.

Apart from a few people, the generation before us has failed our country. Sad, but true.

Karnataka's re-emergence in Cricket?

2007-01-03T11:58:00.000+05:30
Venkatesh Prasad was appointed coach of Karnataka, after the erstwhile champions seemed to have lost their way in the wilderness, doing pretty badly in the previous couple of editions of the Ranji Trophy. Also, this season saw the return of the prodigal son, Yere Goud, who gave up his spot in the Railways team, to lead Karnataka.

The scene this season is quite different. Though the season began on an ominous note, with a huge defeat against Baroda, Karnataka has gone from strength to strength, with wins against Haryana, title holders Uttar Pradesh and a draw against Andhra Pradesh, after reaching a seemingly hopeless position. As I write this, Karnataka has scored 420 odd runs in their first innings against Tamil Nadu.

The team packed with younsters is doing a commendable job. Stalwarts Yere Goud, Thilak Naidu and Sunil Joshi are shepherding the flock quite well, with coach Prasad doing a seemingly good job. The star performer for Karnataka though has been Robin Uthappa, with an aggregtae of around 66 in this season. He has been quite consistent in his performances for India A, and a consistent season (and possibly the title) this time around should give him more than a decentchance to make it back into the Indian squad.

Let's hope that the glory days of Karnataka cricket are back.

Get more info about the Ranji 06-07 season here.

The Quick Guide to classy insults

2007-01-03T10:13:00.000+05:30

This is good fun. I got this in a forward, and thought i must put it up. Read on, enjoy and make sure you use them at least once everyday.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second night...if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...
for support rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy Wilder

"Sir, if you were my husband, I'd give you poison." (Member of Parliament to Winston Churchill)

"Madam, if I were your husband, I'd take it." (His response)

Here without you...

2007-01-03T09:30:00.000+05:30
To my love...

A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me ...................

This.

Befuddled

2007-01-03T08:33:00.000+05:30

Somethings, you have to believe,
The others are puzzles, puzzling me
- Coldplay , Speed of Sound
At last count, there were a million or so Shanthi Sagar hotels in the whole of Bangalore. For those who do not know what i'm talking about, Shanti Sagar refers to those "self-service with service wing also" hotels that serve reasonably good food, at reasonably cheap rates. But somewhere in the last century most of them came out with a new avatar. They started calling themselves "New Shanti Sagar". And ten-twenty years down the line, they still remain new.

I'm puzzled. I really am.

Update: They even have a website! OK, this is the real deal i guess, but there are lot of fake Shanthi sagars then. After all, i guess the original dudes were not smart enough to copyright the name.

The Best of 2006, according to moi

2007-01-02T08:50:00.000+05:30

Movie : The Departed, undoubtedly. Martin Scorsese's Cops-and-robbers drama not only stunned, but also made a lasting impression. Truly, there is no dierctor who can do a better job of blurring the line between good and evil. Also, Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon and Leonardo di Caprio formed one of the most potent acting combos ever. In short, the best ever Scorsese movie. And for this reason, Scorsese is also the Best Director of the year.

When I was your age they used to say you could become cops or criminals. What I'm saying to you is this... When you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?

Song : Masti Ki Paathshala. A.R Rahman and Prasoon Joshi get together for Rang De Basanti an give a great album, but the track that stands out is this, purely because the title of the song is something that every fun loving person (young or old) would relate to. Of course, the lyrics dont make much sense, but the dance moves in the song make sure that you have a good time anyways.

Actor : This one's a tie between Arshad Warsi for the Munnabhai movie and Leo Di Caprio for The Departed. Bot these actors could have hammed away to glory, considering the roles they had to play. But Warsi, as the lovable sidekick Circuit, and Di Caprio as Billy Costigan, the gangster who's actually a cop, exercise remarkable restraint, and in the process give their best performances ever.

Actress : I just cannot think of any woman artiste who's made an impression this year. Sorry.

Sporting Spectacle : Sreesanth. India vs SA. Down the pitch. Bat in air. Pelvic thrusts. The new age Indian cricketer has arrived. Not only does he take shit, he also dishes out some. Watch here.

Happy New Year!

2007-01-02T08:23:00.000+05:30

'tis the new year. Wish you all a great year ahead. May all your dreams and wishes come true (unless it's that of me being roasted over a slow fire).

Deadlier than the Black Mamba

2006-12-29T09:09:00.000+05:30

Remember Chuck Norris? That guy from the Delta Force movie? Walker, Texas Ranger?

No?

What if I tell you that you have missed out on knowing about the greatest man that has ever set foot on earth? Here is a website that gives you a lot of info about Chuck, and mind you, if you laugh at them, you would be doing so at your own peril!

chucknorrisfacts.com has become an internet phenomenon, what with the satirical statements being delivered in a serious tone. In fact, Chuck himself is quite pleased and flattered by this site, and has also listed his favorite facts on the site.

My favorite? It has to be ( 2 of them, actually)
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Check it out...Now!!

B to the A to the B to the A

2006-12-29T08:25:00.000+05:30

The Baba we all love and trust so much (mainly because he appears on every channel early mornings doing his yoga thingy) , Baba Ramdev aka Swami Ramdev has called fizzy soft drinks "Toilet Cleaners". Of course, all of you who've got those forwards about how to use the colas as household cleaning items would not be very surprised, but however, the newspapers and the TV guys seem to be getting all excited. Probably they anticipate another Ramadoss-Ramdev kind fight. But this time, Ramdev expresses (more succintly, of course) the same view as Ramadoss. So I guess it will be Shah Rukh or Sachin or any one of those Cola promoters who's gonna take on Ramdev now. That should be more interesting than plain old Anbumani. Or maybe even Mrs.Karat.

The year celebrities went nuts

2006-12-28T15:32:00.000+05:30
Remember Cosmo Kramer? That lovable wierdo from Seinfeld whom we all, well, loved. As it turns out, there isn't a great deal of love flowing the other way round. Michael Richards, the guy who plays Kramer, let loose a racist rant when he was booed on stage during his stand up comedy act. In what can only be described as Kramerian act of foolishness, he cut loose on a few members of the audience, using the N word like a gazillion times before almost the entire audience walked out on him. Watch the video here.

In another incident, Me l Gibson, when stopped for drunk driving, let loose a racist tirade against the Jews, and apparently said that they are the reason for all the wars in the world. A million apologies and an alcohol rehab program later, he now has a number one movie, Apocalypto, under his belt. Of course, the Richards rant, which happened after this incident, took most of the heat off him.

Fresh after separating from loser husband Kevin Federline, Britney Spears hit the party circuit hard, together with socialite Paris Hilton and actress Lindsay Lohan. The hitch? She forgot (i suspect it was intentional) to put on any underwear beneath her short skirt. Not once, but almost everyday, thereby giving the world a glimpse of what they would get to see on a purported sex tape. Guess GWB can learn a thing or two about pre-emptive action from Britney.

I shall now take your leave, but will start digging for dirt on the celebrities closer to home. I am sure there would be something from a guy with a bare chest fetish and the others of his ilk. Till then, keep your eyes open.

....And beware.

Bye Bye Fatty

2006-12-28T13:16:00.000+05:30

Shane Warne has announced his retirement from international cricket after the current Ashes series. The Aussie leg spinner is calling it quits after a long and successful tenure in the national team.

Shane Warne will be remembered for a lot of things, mainly the "Ball of the last century" (or so it was claimed by a semi-senile Aussie Commentator). Also as the guy who rejected claims of him having slept with a 1000 women. Also as the guy who slept around with any woman in his vicinity even when he was married, which makes the forementioned denial all the more perplexing! Also as the first cricketer to be suspended for doping, and then blaming his mum for everything. Also as the guy who got a bunch of money to quit smoking, but didn't.

All his off-the-field antics apart, he will remain an all time cricketing great and one of the major contributors to the revival of the art of leg spin. Take a bow, Mr Warne.

The year in review...Almost

2006-12-28T11:13:00.000+05:30
Here I am, after a long, unforced break from blogging. It's not like there hasn't been stuff happening that prevents me from blogging, but when blog-laziness creeps in (coupled with a tight workload) , well.... you get the picture.

2006 will remain a watershed year for me for many reasons. But I guess it'll serve my purpose better if I write about it in different posts. At least then I'll have lots to write about...

The keyboard, till then, remains mightier than the sword...

The World through my t(a)inted glasses

2006-10-30T10:47:00.000+05:30

Here's an idea. I go at 3:45 am to Hotel Empire, ask for food, get denied and thereafter create a scene, break a few window panes and basically make a colossal ass of myself. Will anyone say "Boys will be boys, just let it be"????!!! Sheesh! It just makes my blood boil to see the law being implemented differently, just because this moron happens to be the son/grandson of the biggest land grabbers of the state! It just gets richer, when our CM makes reference to a deep rooted political conspiracy to oust him and his family from power. At least he did not complain about the videshi haath!

In related news, te enfant terrible gave his first interview ater the infamous incident, and claimed that he was in fact preparing himself for his new career as powerful-and-rich-man's-son-who-thinks-he's-untouchable. He claimed that a talk with Manu Sharma and the under fire Santosh Kumar gave him the inpiration pull off the act in question. When asked if he regretted his actions, he counter questioned by asking "Do you think the chicken crossed the road?" and then proceeded to scratch his face. The reporters were reminded of the stark resemblance between the villian in every rape scene in Hindi movies and Gowda Jr, who also claimed that he was working on his technique for the same. Giving round reason for his choice of career, he said "Daddy has promised me full immunity from anything I do and lots of pocket money. After all, one has to spend tax money somewhere. " Last heard, all nightspots of Bangalore were enquiring with the firm that makes bulletproof glasses for VIP cars to see if they could procure some for their premises. Pepper spray sales were also soaring after this conference, with everyone expecting the little devil to be a bigger nuisance than was expected of him. The press conference was ended with the proud daddy saying "I screw the entire state figuratively, my son promises to do it literally...."

Shameful

2006-10-07T08:48:00.000+05:30
This is shocking!! I just hope that this does not affect the working of BPO's from India.

Nike has just done it !

2006-10-06T08:37:00.000+05:30
This commercial had to come out sooner or later. Guess who's the guy featured in it? It's not too difficult :)

At least Matterazzi can laugh at himself. A big cheer to him....

One Bundh, Two Movie Reviews and some Cricket

2006-10-04T18:28:00.000+05:30

First things first...
Finally, I blog from home!!

A near total bundh in Bangalore ensures that almost all IT companies call off work and declare one Saturday as a working day. Hence, I stay a home with absolutely nothing to do. In an act meant to cause serious boredom to all people of the city, the Cable operators decide to screen only Kannada channels throughout the day. Well, that's for the rest of the society. Me having a digital set top box means I get all the channels, irrespective of the fact whether Belgaum belongs to Karnataka or not.

I managed to finally watch Cinema Paradiso, a long time after i bought the DVD. I have to say it was a fantastic film, a tad longer than it should have been, but leaves you with moist eyes nevertheless. It's a moving story of a friendship that forms between little Salvatore (Toto) and Alfredo, the guy who operates the projector in the local cinema hall, Cinema Paradiso. Salvatore absolutley loves the movies, and Alfredo is kind enough to teach him everything he wants to learn. There begins a remarkable journey of the coming-to-age of Salvatore. I would recommend it to all of you as a must watch! This, by the way, was the winner of the best foriegn language film in the 1989 Oscars, and deservedly so.

Another movie that I saw was Coffee and Cigarettes. To be honest, when I first saw it, I was quite puzzled with the movie. So, I saw it again. And I thought it was absolutley frickin' hilarious! The movie consists of some 10 short stories (with no real purpose, really), all of them in no way connected with each other. And the characters in each movie, mostly two people, sit and discuss stuff over Coffe and Cigarettes. Some of the stories are downright hilarious (you should appeciate deadpan humor for that, the kind you would encounter in everyday life), a couple boring, and the last one, haunting. Recommended, only if you have a taste of not-over-the-top movies, subtle humor etc...

Cricket was played. 5 guys and an entire morning to waste equals fun with cricket. Thankfully, the skills with the ball remain, but some work needs to be done to regroup the skills with the bat. However, there was lot fun had, what with the constant bickering, futile "Gimme one more chance" requests and empty boasting.

The Holy Cow has mooed.

Cinema Hall Memories - 1

2006-09-25T14:03:00.000+05:30
Drive-In: Bangalore's only Drive In theater, which was aptly called, what else, Drive In. It was a massive place, almost as big as (in area)Chinnaswamy Stadium. The screen was huge, maybe 3 to 4 times the screen we have in Multiplexes today. And they unfailingly played hits that were more than a year or two old. When I went, i think, in 1989, they were playing Naam. The theater was deserted, except for a few stray cars parked next to the loudspeaker. (You had parking docks, with each parking dock having it's own speaker). Though the movie itself was pretty shitty (we walked out, nay, rode out :) of the theater after 20 minutes or so) the experience was amazing for a kid like me, back then. Imagine sitting in a stadium like arena (We went in on a scooter, and had to take our seats in an area which was no different from the steps we have for spectators in stadiums) to watch a movie. Far out!

Puttanna: Named after one of the most brilliant film personalities of the Kannada Film Industry, it was where I saw my first movie (in a hall i.e.). I watched Prema Loka and was just thrilled by the experience of watching all the action unfold on the big screen. Though it was one of the premier theaters of bangalore earlier, saldy, today it remains in a state of un-use and neglect from quite some time.

What were you thinking???

2006-09-22T08:56:00.000+05:30

There are these instances in life, when you do something that seems right for the moment, and later you think about it, and ask yourself "What the f**k were you thinking??"

I have been through a million such moments when I've done something incredibly stupid, which I thought would be a good idea, but in hindsight, it seems like I had overestimated my ability to think spur of the moment.

For all of those who have been affected by my actions at such instances, a BIG sorry...

And to those, whose quick thinking got me out many a jam, a BIGGER thank you...

A Smattering of Everything

2006-09-19T14:31:00.000+05:30

Ho Hum...Life has been quite a big bore of late. There's nothing much happening either personally or professionally. But a lot more is expected on the personal front sometime soon, so I still wait with bated breath.

Anyways, I have now become a pretty regular gymmer. To my amazement, I manage to put in a solid 30 minutes on the treadmill before heading on towards the more mundane exercises. Of course, these gym visits are not to develop Schwarzenegger type muscles, but rather to lose the more than excess flab around my waist. Hopefully there will be some improvement (or is it loss?) to show after around a month or two I guess.

I happened to catch 3 movies; Yun Hota toh Kya Hota, ..And Justice for All and Aishwarya over the weekend. The first one was the best. I thought YHTKH was a very well crafted movie. Unlike most of the in-your-face Bollywood movies, this one lets the story develop beautifully without seeming rushed and the end leaves you quite amazed at the deftness with which the director Naseeruddin Shah has pulled off quite a feat. I also finished reading John Wright's book on the time he spent in India, aptly titled Indian Summers. Quite an interesting read this, considering that Wright was the first Insider from Outside. Some of the anecodotes are downright hilarious and the way he has presented his 'boys' is totally different from the advert superstar symbols that we know them as.

A birthday gift coupon from my employer (Yes, it was my birthday quite recently) saw me going to Landmark to do some shopping. It was after a really long time that I was shopping in Landmark, and to my dismay, I spent more time standing in the billing queue than in actually shopping for stuff. Picked up a copy of The Mystic Masseur, bought two tapes, Tom Petty and the Heart Breakers and Jillunu Oru Kaadhal, the latter being A.R's latest offering in Tamil (one rocker of a song called 'New York' in this album, the reason why I bought it). Anyways, I have decided to henceforth visit Landmark only when I have the time to squat in a corner and read an expensive book which I'll never buy for free. Speaking of expensive books I'll never buy, Landmark has a hardbound edition of all the Calvin and Hobbes comic strips ever, and it costs just 5 grand. I'm willing to accept it as a belated birthday gift. Every year I get more and more shameless.

Like they say, that's that. Watch this space for more updates. the Holy Cow has mooed.

Express Yourself...

2006-09-07T13:37:00.000+05:30

Say Yes
Say No
Say Something
Say Nothing
Inspire
Conspire
Confess
Celebrate
Negotiate
Speak Up
Speak out
Be heard

Ironically, I am speechless right now. One of the best Indian ads. Ever.

Update:

I'm going on a Patriotic trip here...but the sheer intensity of emotions that it arouses in me is just too incredible not to share with you guys...

The real Vande Mataram turns a 100 today.

Jai Hind!

Lage Raho Munnabhai - A Review - * * * *

2006-09-05T13:52:00.000+05:30

Every once in a while comes a movie that inspires to me to brave extra long ticketing lines and sad-arse weather to watch it again. It was some time ago, when Rang De Basanti did it. Now, it's this movie which really deserves an encore watch.

Based on the characters created in the previous movie Munnabhai MBBS, Lage Raho Munnabhai not only makes you laugh out in joy, smile goofily, shed a tear on more than one occasion, but it also sends out a very apt social message without being preachy. No mean feat, that!

Sanjay Dutt reprises his role as Munnabhai, a goon-with-a-golden-heart and this time, he falls for the lissome RJ Jhanvi, played by the winsome Vidya Balan (her very very Indian looks have my heart aflutter. The last time I fell so hard for a movie herione was Manisha Koirala in the movie Bombay. That itself warrants a much longer post and I'm digressing, so let's get on with the matter in hand). Aided by the always-by-his-side sidekick Circuit (Arshad Warsi), he proceeds to win her heart in the way he knows best. By making someone else do the hard work for him. Vintage Munnabhai, innit? But before you thinkt hat it goes pretty much the same way as the earlier movie, there's anothe character in the movie who changes pretty much everything you expected from the movie. (You don't need to be a genius to realise who the character is, if you've watched the promos. If you haven't, then watch the shape of the clouds in the background in the poster above. If you still don't get it, look into a 100 ruppee note. If you still don't, then google for Mahatma Gandhi).

That's it. I'm not giving away anything else about the movie. You really must rush to the nearest theater and give it a dekko. You'll realise that it's worth every paisa you've spent on it. Fun and clean entertainment for the entire family, this.

Performance wise, this movie has all actors playing what is probably the best performance they have essayed so far. Sanjay Dutt is absolutely lovable as Munnabhai. Vidya Balan has luminous screen presence, to be rivalled only by Madhuri Dixit walking down the stairs in that gorgeous blue dress in Hum Aapke Hain Kaun. But hold your horses. Stop Press. There are not one, but two star performers in this movie. Boman Irani is the lesser of the two, essaying his phot-crazy Lucky Singh character with just the right blend of humor and villainy. You actually never get round to hating his character. But all the praise is to be heaped on Arshad Warsi, for playing Circuit only like he can. This guy is one of the best comedic actors in the country right now, and this performance just re-inforces this belief. He is just incredible, be it Senti-Circuit, Drunk-Circuit or fawning-upon-bhai Circuit.

Watch it. Period.

Guess who's joined the Elite Copycat League?

2006-08-25T12:33:00.000+05:30

For me, the two (un)distinguished members of the league have always been Bappi Lahiri and Anu Malik. Now, Pritam lays claim for making a grand entry into that league.

As per the Wikipedia Entry,

Pritam's music is catchy and is very popular with younger listeners. However, he has often been criticised for plagiarism. Pritam counters that he is simply "inspired" by various musical sources and cites his sources whenever appropriate.

Typical Copycat Behavior, innit? While Anu Malik and Bappi were stupid to lift directly from the biggest hits of their time, Pritam plays it clever by lifting tunes from music that us Indians would not have much exposure to. Here are a few samples.

Ya Ali (Gangster):

When I reviewed the Gangster soundtrack, I reserved special mention for this song, saying it was the best track of the album. Well, here's the original (Thanks, YouTube!). Composed by a Kuwaiti (or from some other arbit Arab country, I am unsure) group called Guitara (which, it looks like, faced a cash crunch while making the video), it "inspired" Pritam into making a song which sounds eeriely like it. Pbhhtt!

Kya mujhe Pyaar Hai (Woh lamhe):

This song is shaping up to become a massive hit, in the lines of Tu Hi Meri Shab Hai (waitaminnit, is this a flicked tune too?? Will Investigate and put up a post). This one's "Inspired" by the song "Tak Bisamah" by an Indonesian group PeterPan

Bheegi Bheegi (Gangster):

Maybe I can cut him slack here. The song is attributed to Mohiner Ghoraguli bandleader Gautam Chatterjee on the album cover. If only he did this with every song that he got "inspired" by. Listen to the original Bengali version here.

Update: My suspicion turned out true. Even "Tuhi Meri Shab Hai" is a lift. Download the original here

Update 2: This is a great place to find out more about plagarism of music in the Indiam Film Industry. Songs that I never thought/realised were lifted from other sources turned up here! Enjoy!!

The Opa Tudo Bom phenom

2006-08-07T13:41:00.000+05:30

Boy, I still can remember the day. I was, as I generally do in office, sitting like Thalaiva on my seat and earning my bread and butter. All of a sudden there's a buzz in the office. I can see people converge to a point, all of them chattering excitedly. Some look disturbed, some downright pale. Like something important had happened. Important, but more frighteningly, BAD. Like i learnt when I joined the group, Orkut had been blocked in office. First there was Shock ("What??Why??Where??"). Then there was Denial ("No f*****g way. Must be some temporary network problem."). Then finally sorrow, as I resigned to my Orkutless fate (" What will I do in office now???")

Till a few days/weeks back, we were quite smug in this part of the software world, that Orkut was not blocked in our office, you see. Damn right and decent of our IT guys, we thought, to allow us our leisures in between our generally hectic work (or vice versa). Till all our dreams came crashing down.

There a few things about being a software engineer. We have at least 2 messengers (to keep in touch), an Orkut account (to keep in touch), an e-mail program running constantly (to keep in touch) and some also keep a blog (those are the evil ones). As most of us would know, Orkut is now the "in" thing these days, even more popular than the messengers. And imagine sitting in office (note: there has been no mention of work) for a whole 8 hours without as much peeping into the hot girls profile who has pictures loaded in her album!!

The reason for all of this?? Some Portuguese speaking idiot decided it would be fun if he created some sort of a virus which would soon be all over Orkut. And some other idiots (both those who speak Portuguese and don't) decided clicking on the link would not be such a bad idea. And before you could say Orkut Bouyukotten (or wassissname again?), "Opa Tudo Bom" became more popular than "Whats for lunch?" in our office.

As faces fell, and mails were sent out to other friends about forced Orkut exile, there was the proverbial ray of light that shimmered in..It was possible to Orkut after all (look, it's a verb now). In a mails that came in from the battle-scarred-Orkut-veterans of other companies, it dawned upon the newly deprived that they would not be so deprived after all. It was possible to Orkut via proxy sites after all. And we could still stay in touch with our near and dear ones and maybe look at the occasional photo album (hot girls only) [At this point, the author wishes to state that he did not indulge in proxy browsing of orkut. Nor did he recommend it to anyone else. He used his home computer to browse Orkut.] The feeling of Euphoria that swept through office is hard to describe. Imagine a situation where a man dying of thirst is given Bisleri Water. Of course, it comes with pesticides in it, but it'll still save your life, won't it?

Now, Orkut is back in office. Nope, not just via a proxy, but directly through the Orkut URL itself. And everyone around me (me included) are happy with the development. After all, no red blooded Indian would like being Opa Tudo Bom(bed). We need our daily dose of Orkut to lead a proper and healthy life. It's the indian way, and I'll be darned if we can be suppressed by some malicious link!

Jai Hind!

Everything there is to know about me..Well, almost

2006-08-02T11:39:00.000+05:30
I may end up looking/seeming like a weirdo, but waddaheck...We only live once, and I ain't embarassed of being me.

What is your full name?
Manjeshwar Vinayak Kini

Are you Amercian Or English?
Indian...Proud to be one too.

What are you listening to right now?
Take my breath away - Berlin (Top Gun OST)

What are the last two digits of your phone number?
82

What was the last thing you ate?
Masala Dosa. Pretty shitty it was too...

If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Black. I absolutel adore that color. Seemingly endless.

How is the weather right now?
Very Very pleasant, perfect for cricket.

Last person you talked to on phone?
The cutest girl on earth!

First thing you notice about the opposite sex?
The eyes. Undoubtedly.

Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Yes,, of course. I picked it up myself. And I adore me.

How are you today?
Ill. And in no mood to do constructive work.

Favourite Drink?
Water. Beer comes a close second.

Favourite Alcoholic Drink?
Beer. Undoubtedly Beer.

Favourite Sport?
Cricket.

Hair Colour?
Black

Eye Colour?
Black

Do you wear contacts?
Nope...

Siblings?
A yonger sister, who keeps yelling at me.

Favourite food?
Andhra Style Chilli Chicken. It's so good, it makes me cry.

Last movie you saw?
In the hall, Omkara.
On my Comp, MI:3
On DVD, Phir Hera Pheri (What crap!)

Favourite Day of the Year?
Any day that can be strategically claimed as a holiday to add upon already declared Public holidays to give me one heck of a long weekend.

Are you too shy ask someone out?
No. Not now at least. But I used to quite shy earlier. Things have changed now.

Summer or winter?
Winter. Undoubtedly. Go to the room, draw all curtains, turn on the fan, and snuggle under the blanket.

Hugs or Kisses?
Kisses. Period. :P

Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate. An aphrodisiac, ain't it???

Who is most likely to respond?
WGAF.

Who is least likely to respond?
WGAF.

What books are you reading?
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
The Sin City comics.

What's on your mousepad?
The mouse. Duh.

Favourite board game?
Monopoly.

Favourite Smell?
The smell of earth, after the first rain. Also my mum's pepper chicken..

Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
I actually tried this right now! Heck, I can't.

Favourite flower?
Err...Dont know..Poppy, maybe?

What's the first thing you think when you wake up?
Who is today? What is I?

What's the time?
It's the time to disco...

Nickname?
Viinu. Lets not get vulgar here now.

Ever been so drunk you blacked?
Never. And dont intend to either.

Been in a car accident?
Yes.

Been hurt emotionally?
Yes. Forty Trillion times.

Kept a secret from anyone?
Shitloads of 'em.

Wanted to hook up with a friend?
Yes. Many friends (female of course)

Cried during a movie?
Not during a movie, but during a TV show. I was the Wonder Year, and Kevin's leaving the classroom after giving the Math test Mr. Collins has set for him just before he died. And he turns back to see Mr Collins sitting on his desk and says "Good Job Mr Collins". Tears came.

Had a crush on a teacher?
Yes.

Ever thought an animated character was hot?
Never.

Had New Kids on The Block Tape?
Nope.

Been on stage?
Yes. Total Embarrasment all 3 times.

Fav Movie?
Fighclub. But I cannot talk about it. I'll be breaking the rules then.

Fav Subject?
None. I generally hated all subjects.

Fav person you talk to online?
Err..I dont normally talk online.

Do you have boyfriend/girlfriend?
Yes.

Like anyone?
Yes. Women, mostly.

Who have you known the longest of your friends?
Akshay

Who's the shyest?
Me.

Who's the weirdest?
Me.

Who would you go for advice?
No one. I do what I think is best.

Who do you cry with?
Kevin Arnold mostly. Otherwise by myself.

Worst feeling?
When I flunked english in school. Pain turned to relief when I found out it was tabulation error.

Favourite word?
Awesome!

I tag Vijay Krishna. Should be fun..

Progressive Boink

2006-08-02T10:24:00.000+05:30
Progressive Boink is one site that people need to visit more often. For people who have an interest in movies, TV shows, cult classic cartoon strips i.e.

You'll find it worth the while. And here's a link to the best CnH strips (I think it's the 20 best), just for starters

Two Movie Reviews

2006-07-31T08:28:00.000+05:30

Pirates of the Carribean - Dead Man's Chest : ****

Whoa! Thank god, for Captain Jack is back...and how! This is one movie I had been waiting for since quite some time, ever since it was revealed that there were 2 sequels in the making. And I have to admit that the movie does not disappoint at any level. The CGI, the performances, the one liners, all of them rock. And to make things better, we have a cracker of an ending, which promises much excitement in the final installment of the movie.

The entire movie hinges on Johnny Depp, and the character he has made so memorable. He relives his turn as Captain Jack Sparrow with much aplomb, carrying away all the applause even this time around. Orlando Bloom as Will Turner and Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Swann are also good. So is the CGI character Davy Jones. In fact, he's downright creepy. Gore Verbinski, who before these Pirate movies, made Mousetrap and The Mexican has his hands right ont he audience's pulse this time. All in all, a great watch. (I saw this movie in Symphony, where the morning show costs 50 bucks for a Balcony seat...Makes it even more worth the while! Maybe I'll watch it again.)

Omkara : ***

I am slightly confused by this movie. Performance wise,t his movie is great. Saif Ali Khan has never been better, Ajay Devgan regains his Gangajal form and Kareena looks HOT. But the story itself is no great shakes. I mean, i like Shakespearean stuff, but if you think about it, no author could get more "Bollywoody" than old Will. And that is what we get in Omkara, pure Bollywood stuff, but minus all the fluff. Vishal Bhardwaj, the director infuses a grittiness and raw energy into the film, which makes it watchable. Without that, this would just be standard Bollywood fare. All the actors in this movie give very gritty performances. All of them, except for Bipasha Basu, who has two item numbers, and talks with a UP accent so fake that the Queen of England could have done better. So the thing to be asked is, is this the best adaptation of Shakespeare we have seen, in Bollywood? I would like to digress. I think Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak was a better adaptation (of Romeo and Juliet i.e.). Watch it just for the performances, and in a movie hall that doesn't charge much. You won't enjoy the movie much, but you'll sure as hell appreciate it.

Why "The WonderYears" ain't out on DVD yet

2006-07-27T16:40:00.000+05:30
Read this to know why.

What a frickin' tragedy. But I guess the show wouldn't make sense without it's awesome background music..

Update : More dirt on The Wonder Years here. Also, the 25 best moments of the show. I dont agree with the sequence, but yes, all of these moments are really touching and sometimes, outright hilarious.

Misc...

2006-07-25T13:48:00.000+05:30
The day I never thought would come is finally here. I am not sure if I want to live in Bangalore the rest of my life. At least not with the way it is progressing. Law and Order seems to be a thing of the past, what with the number of muggings and murders just getting out of control. For chryssake, you have more cops shutting down pubs and discos than patrolling the sensitive ring road areas and other mugging havens. What shit!!
-----------------
Nice time to say our thanks to Mr. Venkatachala, the pro-active Lokayukta, who retired a few weeks back. We shall be grateful for the amazing work you did in exposing all the corruption that has taken root in the system. Sir, I bow to you.
-----------------
4 movies that merit viewing. And I do not have the time to do justice. Here they are, and any feedback about these movies (spare me the spoilers) is welcome:
- Pirates of the Carribean Dead Man's Chest
- Golmaal
- Yun Hota to Kya Hota
- Cyanide

The last one is a Kannada movie and comes highly recommended to me by some people I know. That's the one I'm looking forward the most to.
------------------
From monopoly to intense competition, the radio wars seem to be just gettinghotter. We now have 3 private FM radio stations, together with the Government run FM Rainbow. Come to think of it, I just haven't tuned into Radio City after the other guys came into the picture. I wonder how it is with the others?
------------------

More to follow. Stay tuned. The holy cow has mooed.

Poop Names (Warning : Repulsive, but hilarious)

2006-07-20T10:45:00.000+05:30

I totally relate to this shit (pun intended). Sourced from www.poopnames.com.

Read On. Enjoy.

The Perfect Dump - Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump - Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.

The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.

The Cable Dump - Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone CO-axial cable. It loops lazily around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You wonder admiringly, "DID I DO THAT? Where did it come from?" you leave the bathroom pleased with yourself.

The Latrine Dump - In case you didn't know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump. Tip: Don't ever, ever look in the hole.

The Mona Lisa Dump - This is the masterpiece of dumps. It's as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and slender with intricacies that would make da Vinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that's going a bit too far.

The Empty Roll Dump - You're done...you reach for the toilet paper only to discover that empty cardboard cylinder. A mild panic begins coldly in your throat. You could use the curtains...no, someone would say "Where are the curtains?" Then what would you say? The rug?...too cumbersome. Then you must come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face...Pull up your slacks, tighten your tush and wriggle yourself to the nearest full roll.

The Splash Back Dump - You send the dump on its way, it drops like a depth charge into the bowl creating a column of cold bowl water that washes your bottom with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet and embarrassed.
Tip: Blot instead of wiping.

The Aborted Dump - You are in mid-dump when the phone rings. What do you do? ABORT! Pinch it off, go for the phone, and save the rest for later. It isn't pretty, but you've gotta do what you gotta do

The Caesarian Dump - Pain, that's what this dump and childbirth have in common. Its simply a case of too much dump trying to go through too small a hole, and there's no obstetrician to help.

The Alfresco Dump - Everyone has had to go outdoors from time to time. This can be a rather pleasant experience really. The open air, the nature, and a good bush all contribute to the peaceful ambiance that our primitive forefathers must have enjoyed. What can screw up this harmonious interlude is a troop of brownies or a patch of poison ivy.

The Childbirth Dump - This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf". You realize you'll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do:

1. Scream
2. Call an Obstetrician
3. Hope like hell have enough Vaseline to get you through it.

The Tijuana Trot Dump - The phrase "Sh*t Happens" really applies here in a big way. When the ice in your tainted margarita makes contact with your lower intestinal tract, the fun begins. For the next 72 hours you'd be better off if you carried your own portable toilet with you because you will spend most of that time on the pot and the rest of the time in a fetal position. Now you realize why Mexico never had a navy.

The Machine Gun Dump - You're just sitting there in a state of sublime peace when all of a sudden you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the silence like machine gun fire. The guy in the next stall hits the floor like a combat veteran cradling his umbrella like an M16...damn commies.

The Sound Effect Dump - You feel a noisy one coming on. Relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot, so you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is obviously very important here. At the precise moment of release, try the following sound effects:

1. Flush the toilet
2. Sing the first two stanzas of your national anthem
3. Drop a handful of quarters on the floor

The Security Dump - You have enough on your mind when you're in the bathroom without worrying about a lockless door and someone bursting in to find you in mid-dump mode. So how can you prevent this embarrassing spectacle from taking place? One way is to strategically place your foot against the door. If you can't reach to do this...hum loudly

The Cling-On Dump - For the most part you've completed your dump, but there's one little morsel that refuses to drop off. You're getting impatient. Someone else wants to use your stall. So, you grip the seat with both hands and wriggle, twist and pump but that last little stubborn piece just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the bowl water. Maybe the person pounding impatiently on the door has scissors

The Houdini Dump - You go, then you stand up to flush, and the darn thing has disappeared. Where'd it go? Did it creep down the pipe? Did you dream the whole thing? Is it lurking out of sight? Should you wipe...maybe you should just to make sure you went. Should you flush? you'd better, because if you don't, you know it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in

The Flu Dump - You feel so bad that you don't know which end of you to put down first. You have roaring cramps, so you sit down. Then a wave of nausea rolls over you like a cold fog, so you stand up and cramps squeeze your intestines like a vice so you sit down again...up down up down. Don't you wish Mom were close by?

The Porta-Pottie Dump - Construction workers and outdoor concert goers will tell you about going in a portable toilet. My best description would be, "Its like taking a shit in an upright coffin". Its claustrophobic and it smells bad...best advice...go in a paper cup.

The Proctologist Dump - In the beginning, the lord created the earth, the sky and the firmament, but I hope he didn't create this dump, because there is nothing biblical about it, you run out of gas. That's right, you run out of propulsion. The dump is right there at the end of your barrel and refuses to go any further. You grunt, you squeeze, you wriggle but it just stays there like a lump of lead. You've only got two choices here. One is to squeeze the damn thing back up your intestine and wait until next time. The other is to pretend you're a proctologist and go after it yourself. Not a pretty picture is it??

The Whole Roll Dump - No matter how much you wipe, it doesn't seem to be enough. You blow the whole roll and you have to flush 25 times too. The whole episode is consumer waste.

The Graffiti Dump - You flush the dump and the swirling motion of the receding bowl water forces the dump to the porcelain sides, scraping a creative squiggle on its way down. You flush again but the curlicue hangs there...love it or leave it. Its your choice.

The Encore Dump - Ahhhh, you're done, so you wipe, put yourself together, wash your hands and are about to vacate the bathroom when you feel another dump coming. You have to return for a curtain call. The world's record is seven encores.

The Born Again Dump - This is a dump that's going so badly, you say "Lord, if I live through this, I'll take up religion" you always get through it, but seldom keep the promise you made in desperation, because a born again dump is like childbirth...you forget the pain quickly.

Salaam Bombay

2006-07-12T09:42:00.000+05:30
My heart and prayers go out to those affected by the bombings. My salutations to the city whose people have an indomitable spirit. I spit on the face of the higher-ups who have already started blame-shifting and cheap politicking.

Corporate - A Review - *

2006-07-10T11:21:00.000+05:30

What shit this movie is. I should've known that what made Page 3 very intriguing was the subject of the story, and not the way it was handled. Of course, the cynicism in that movie was most welcome, but I felt it suffered from a single-viewpoint hangover. Corporate is no better. In fact, it's so much more worse. Bhandarkar tries to ram it into your brain that the Corpoate world is filled with evil geniuses just waiting to pounce and cut the throat of anyone who comes in the way. Also, the subject of the movie just lacks intrigue. But in order to inject some, Bhandarkar resorts to situations like Vice president of a company (played by Bipasha Basu, who can't act to save her life) using a hooker to steal trade secrets of her rival company, crude humor related to Public and Private related enterprises, etc.

Essentialy the story is about the rivalry between two groups of industries, how they try their best to screw and out-do each other. That's it. Reality ends there. The rest of it is a total farce. Like I said Bipasha Basu can't act at all. Kay Kay should stick to roles that give him more range and depth. Rajat Kapoor and Raj Babbar are OK. Minissha Lamba has 5 dialogues in the movie. Sammer Dattani has 2. But the best role of the movie goes to the guy (I dont know his name) who plays the role of the politician (State Minister for Finance).

This movie is a frickin' tragedy. Dont even bother watching. Wait for it to come on TV.

Indian Chinese food

2006-07-07T10:55:00.000+05:30

Hindi-Chini bhai bhai claimed Jawahar Lal Nehru, before China did a bit of backstabbing making Nehru eat his words. Poor Nehru, I wonder if he had to give up on Chinese food after this bitter experience.

I would not be totally off the mark if I said that Chinese is the most loved foreign cuisine in India. But wait! We have got our own back at the Chinese. Unhappy with the humiliation heaped on us in the Indo-China war, we have systematically set about vandalizing something the Chinese consider sacred. Their food.

Point in example. Bangalore's all pervading Darshini's. These havens of cheap, clean, healthy local food have gone global (read: Chinese) with a vengeance. Items on Chinese (also at times Chainese, Chayness, Chinise, ..the list goes on and on, but i'm digressing) Menu : Veg Nuddles, eg Fraid Rice, and *trumpets-blowing-for-king-of-'em-all* Gobi Manchurian. The humble cauliflower, which my mom makes such good upkari (a Konkani delicacy) of, is reincarnated, and completely beyond recognition. Notice the not so subtle snub(s) given to Communist ruled China:

1. Red China be damned. We are not scared of you. To prove this, we make our Gobi Manchurian an un-natural red (See, See, the Red Connection...And you guys thought it was just the tomato ketchup!). And we gobble it up, to symbolize that the red dragon can be countered by peace loving, garlic breath oriented mouths.

2. No Gobi Manchurian in China!!! Damn you. Look, we have gone ahead of you already. And you try and divert attention with trivial matters like good infrastructure and stuff.

There are other hidden subliminal snubs, but I would have to spend the whole day typing it out, but I hope, dear reader, you get the point.

So the next time you go and order for that plate of Gobi Manchurian, remember, you are not just indulging your taste buds, but you are also making a statement against Communism, against state sponsered lies and more importantly, saluting the Indian spirit of improvisation, nay, innovation!

Jai Hind

Dammit, My eyes welled up again

2006-07-06T16:22:00.000+05:30
Reason : this.

I had written about the Wonder years before, and I had provided a link to the pilot in there. In the link above, you can see the ending of the finale. It's really sad the show ended. And listen to what Kevin has to say. It just rings so true.

Definitely the best show. Ever.

A sneak peek into Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

2006-07-04T14:05:00.000+05:30

Shahrukh Khan as Dev Saran

Overtly sensitive, sharp of tongue and cynical Dev Saran has a rather uneasy relationship with the world owing to an unfortunate mishap that turns his dreams upside down.

He is unable to come to terms with the unfairness of life or his handicap and his bitterness only cripples his mind further. He resents his wife, Rhea’s growing success and in the process ends up hating himself for feeling that way. To make matters worse he ends up turning all his anger towards his loved ones. Under these circumstances, Maya enters his life with her own wounds and together they take on a journey to heal each other…

Preity Zinta as Rhea Saran

Confident, savvy and with a strong sense of right and wrong…

Rhea Saran leads a straight forward life where her promises and expectations are clearly chalked out. Her independence is of prime importance to her and she believes in the importance of material luxuries. There are moments when she realizes that she is not playing the traditional role of a wife or a mother owing to her busy career but she refuses to feel guilty about it and strongly believes in her right to pursue success as much as a man. Her belief in her marriage is strong even during its turbulent phase and she tries every means in her power to save it until she realizes the enormity of the situation and is forced to take a stand…

Abhishek Bachchan as Rishi Talwar

Sophisticated, stylish with a gift of the gab, Rishi Talwar, upcoming public relations professional, has inherited his father’s fun-loving nature and his sense of humor.

While his childlike demeanor is endearing, his volatile reaction to situations often cause his wife, Maya to believe that he is childish. He is patient and loving to Maya but is unable to comprehend her complexity especially when it rears its ugly head in the most intimate moments of their personal relationship. His entire being is devoted to Maya and that’s perhaps why he falls apart when exposed to the harsh truth of his marriage…

Rani Mukherjee as Maya Talwar

Beautiful, sensitive and a compulsive cleanliness freak…

Maya Talwar compensates for her inability to have children by teaching in a nursery. Her relationship with her husband Rishi is layered with a lot of self-doubt and question. However, while she is ready to discuss and analyze everything small or big, she fights this area of her life with remarkable silence. She is unable to whip up enough passion for Rishi and is disappointed that her love for him does not match her own expectations of what it ought to be. This dilemma pulls her further apart from him thereby causing a strain on their marital life. To add to this complication, she encounters Dev in whom she finds all the ingredients to fire the passion she lacks in her marriage…

Amitabh Bachchan as Samarjit Singh Talwar

Samarjit Singh Talwar a.k.a. Sam is a flamboyant and fun-loving man who believes in living his life to the fullest.

His life revolves around the happiness of his son, Rishi and daughter-in-law, Maya. And despite indulging in all sensual pleasures, Sam does not lose focus on the ground realities of life and beneath his colorful exterior there lies a wise and sensitive parent who dispenses, at times, brutal but practical solutions to his family.

My Take:

Married Couple 1 having problems. Married Couple 2 having problems. They switch partners and realise that this makes more sense. India's most popular filmstar included to mouth sentimental dialogues on his deathbed. Lots of songs. Lots of crying. More songs and crying. Finally everything ends on a happy note. This movie will beat all records, and will goad Johar into making another similar movie.

Repeat the loop.

Superman - A review - * *

2006-07-03T16:48:00.000+05:30
I have a lot of faith in Bryan Singer. After all, he gave us that cult classic called The Usual Suspects, which happens to be one of my all time favorites. It was with this hope, that Singer would deliver on one of the most under utilised comic book franchises, I went to the theater. And I returned disappointed.

Apart from 2 breathtaking sequences :

- The one where superman saves a plane from crashlanding in the middle of a Baseball park.

- The one where he foils a Bank Robbery.

most of the movie is dead boring. Lois Lane, who has moved on since Superman's abrupt departure, has now his love child and an understanding/ready-to-make-sacrifice fiance. How convenient. And the sequence where Superman takes Lois on a cruise in his arms...Lame. Kevin Spacey, probably hindered by the single dimension of his role as Lex Luther is horrific. Not a patch on his Kaiser Soze in The Usual Suspects. The Indian Actor Kal Penn makes blink-and-miss appearances (BTW, watch this movie which featues him in the lead...absolutely hilarious slapstick stuff.)

One star each for the two sequences mentioned above. Give the movie a miss. Not worth it.

Hi! I'm Kina, and you are?

2006-06-29T11:50:00.000+05:30

Generate your Brazilian name here.

From Monkeys to me

2006-06-26T14:36:00.000+05:30

Yessir, evolution has come a full circle.

Now for random musings:

I have now gone two weekends without beer, which means that my code is no longer valid. And the effects can be seen. I have actually lost some weight. It was my goal (Post : Welcome to the new year) to lose 10 kilos by the end of the year. I am nowhere on track, but there's always hope.

Coming round to the topic of hope, looks like the German team has performed well beyond what everyone had hoped for. To be honest, at the beginning of the World cup, I wasn't too confident of the Germans doing well. But boy, have they proved everyone (me included)wrong with their excellent attacking play! Their Polish forward combination of Klose and Podolski, that imperious midfielder who goes by the name Mikhail Ballack have been stand out performers for the team. If there's a niggling worry, then it's the defense. And let's accept the fact that Jens Lehmann is nowhere close to the one-man-defense that Ollie Kahn was in the previous World Cup. Anyways, I hope Germany does progress ahead, even if it comes at the cost of sentimental favorite Argentina. After all, I earn my bread and butter in a German firm.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has given Bangalore what Radio City terms "One tight slap" by criticising our traffic sense. Not that anything's gonna change, of course. We'll still remain blissfully unaware of traffic rules. I suits Bangalorean psyche the best. Long live lane cutting, unnecessary honking, high beam city driving, red light jumping, pavement driving, etc etc. Phew, our PM will have a heart attack, methinks, if he drives around like us common folk do.

I have been unsuccessfully trying to make PJ's about the Rakhi-Mika episode. I cannot seem to come up with good ones. Here's one I could come up with anyways:

Q : What did Mika say after Rakhi filed a case against him?
Ans : Sawant mein lag gayi aag, ke dil mera.....

Pathetic, I know. Forget you even read it. If you have any good ones, leave 'em as a comment. I'll put up a link to it.

The Holy Cow has mooed.

Underrated Hindi Movies

2006-06-22T16:26:00.000+05:30
Grab a copy of these today, if you haven't watched them yet! I gaurantee that you will not feel cheated.

Waisa Bhi Hota Hai - Part 2

The Part 2 is just to grab your attention. There was no part one (but there is in the movie...You'll see for yourself). If you thought Arshad Warsi was good in Munnabhai MBBS, you're gonna love him in this. Shot Tarrantino style, it marked a first in Bollywood. You'll know this movie better for the song "Allah Ke Bande".

Kaun

An RGV classic. The only movie where I liked Urmila's scared girl act. Manoj Bajpai's performance in this is on par with the one in Satya. He kjust keeps getting on your nerves, like his character requires him to. The ending is a total shocker. A must watch for all fans of the horror-thriller genre.

Dil Pe Mat Le Yaar

Directed by Hansal Mehta, this is one of the first Hindi movies to experiment with black humor. Bajpai, in a total reverse of his get-on-you-nerves performance in Kaun, is very very restrained. And to show how far ahead of it's time the movie was, the herione is shown as a smoker and someone who condones pre-marital sex. And she's still not a vamp!

More will follow...

Tagzone - 6 Weird things about me

2006-06-21T16:42:00.000+05:30
Picking up a tag by Harsha, where I have to list 6 weird things about meself.

1. I love to watch B Grade movies (there, I said it). They make me feel better about myself. It's nice to know there are bigger losers than me.

2. I buy Books and DVDs by the bushelful. And I don't read or view most of them. (Not exactly the kinda thing you'd save up for a rainy day, is it?)

3. I'm penny wise, pound foolish.

4. My favorite English song is this. No, really.

5. I can levitate a can of sardines 5 feet from ground level. But that's only if I've had cornflakes for breakfast.

6. I don't lie. Mostly.

OK. 5 and 6 were (a little) off the mark. But I cannot help it. I don't have any "things". I as regular/normal as they come

I tag Apy, Akshay and Vijay Krishna and YOU.

Kiss and Tell : A lesson on getting constructive feedback about Birthday Cake, the Mika way

2006-06-21T10:29:00.000+05:30
Short Introduction : It is Mika's birthday. he wants to know what Rakhi Sawant thinks of his birthday cake.

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you.....

Eat some cake..from my mouth

How does the cake taste?

Aargh...That was horrid, and I'm not just talking about the cake

How dare you insult my cake? Pow, Biff, Wham....

Let's leave.

Lesson: Never insult the cake. NEVER

Reconnecting to my childhood

2006-06-21T08:39:00.000+05:30

What would you do if I sang out tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song.
I will try not to sing out of key, yeah

Oh, baby I get by with a little help from my friends
By with a little help from my friends.
All I need is my buddies
By with a little help from my friends
I said I’m gonna get by with a little
By with a little help from my friends - whoa oh oh oh oh

There has been no TV show I have connected as much to as The Wonder Years. For the uninitiated, It is a show which chronicles the life of young Kevin Arnold growing up in the late 60's and early 70's.

But the beauty of the show lies in the fact that you can see a part of you in Kevin. I have lost count of the number of times, where in my mind, I have exclaimed, "Hey, thats me!". Innumerable times I have shed a silent tear, given that knowing smile, and hung my head in embarrasment, all the time seeing myself on the television screen. That was how much the show moved me. Browsing through Akshay's blog has opened the floodgates of memories again.

As the time has passed by, I (and I am sure, all of us) have developed (if you can call it that) into a cynic, hardened by what I have seen happening around me. I need to reconnect to those days when I had nothing to bother me except issues like girls *wink* and not getting on the wrong side of the cane brandished by my dad. And The Wonder years will help me in achieving just that.

The hunt is on. Inspiration has come. The no-more-DVDs promise will be broken. If you can loan me/sell me a copy of the series, drop a mail at mvkini@gmail.com.

For the uninitiated, watch the pilot episode here. You will not be disappointed. You'll see a part of you in Kevin. Or vice versa. And it's allowed to shed a tear. In memory of the innocence lost....

The Beautiful game?? Yes, Yes, Oh Yes...

2006-06-20T09:26:00.000+05:30
Notice how the Serbs don't even get a touch of the ball. You've gotta love it. Argentina have given us the goal of the tournament yet. All the 40 yard curlers notwithstanding.

Faith restored. Thanks to VK for bringing this to my notice. I have goose pimples right now.

The Chronicles of Vinayak : The Weekday, the Weekend and the Draught Beer

2006-06-19T11:48:00.000+05:30

Life is one big vicious routine right now. Except for the odd trip that I make here and there, the title of the post pretty much sums up my life. Here is a blow-by-blow account on how the holy cow lives his life:

The average weekday : Wake up at 5:45. Fight with mum before doing so, trying make convincing argument, for why I should NOT be going jogging. Common excuses range from the beliveable "It just rained, roads will be flooded" to "Cant you see I'm fighting dragons?". Then realise a fully awake Mother's logical reasoning cannot be matched by feeble protests. Get ready by 6:15 and set out for the ritual. Come back by 6:45 and take quick bath followed by stuffing food in mouth. Leave for work at 7 am (yes, 7!), reach office by 8 and settle into the seat. 8 - 12:15 [total memory loss] 12:15 - 1 lunch 1 - 5:15 [total memory loss]. Back home by 6:30. Now, I have to give credit to the powers-that-be at my workplace. By altering the time table a bit (from the erstwhile 9-6 to the present 8-5 system), they have ensured that we dont have to face the full fury of peak hour Bangalore traffic. Once back home, watch movie on DVD, play some badminton with friends, eat healthy dinner, and get into bed by 9:30. Repeat the same for 5 days a week. How does it sound?? Not very interesting, ain't it?

The average weekend : Lemme try my hand at coding and expressing an average weekend. (I'm faced with a peculiar situation here. I know that the world knows me as a Software engineer. But my job isn't the typical SE kinda thing. Gives rise to the Chandler Bing situation when people ask me about what I do...Don't blame me if the code does not make sense)

void weekend();
{
if( day == "Saturday")
{
if (DVD_req == "TRUE")
goto National_Market;
else Stay_at_home;
}
if( day == "Saturday" && time =="Evening")
{
if ( Money_in_hand && Company == "True" )
goto Pub_playing_loud_music;
else Stay_at_home;
}
if( day == "Sunday")
Send_time_with_the_gurl;
else Live_to_Repent;
}

The Draught Beer : Life is rosy. It finally seems like there's a reason to live. Hallelujah. (Strictly Saurday nights only. Or maybe the (more than) occasional Weekday.)

Breaking News: Balayya to sue Wachowski Brothers

2006-06-16T11:30:00.000+05:30

Telugu superstar and Tanushree Dutta's favorite Southern Superstar, veteran of many a movie, Nandamuri Taraka Balakrishna, lovingly called Balayya Babu by his adoring fans (and not-so-charitable names by others) has revealed in press conference today that he plans to sue the Wachowski brothers for shamelessly plagarising from his 1983 smash hit "Flying Veerudu". The movie in question : "The Matrix". Providing ample proof of the plagarism, Balayya said : "Look how shamelessly they have kaapeed. And that hero is not kapeed even 1/12345th the emotion on my face. Shame I say."

In other unrelated news, former super shooter turned failed firing range instructor Jaspal Rana has shaved off his goatee. He refuses to elaborate why, but he was seen in deep conversation with Balayya just a few days ago, after a special screening of Flying Veerudu.

watch the video below, for more on this scoop.

Striking Back (with no vengeance)

2006-06-16T08:30:00.000+05:30

It's been quite some time since I blogged. Well, it's not like anyone's been missing me or something, but I have to say that it's a relief to be moderately free, after being quite immersed in work.

The holy cow looks around and does not like what he sees or reads about (most of it anyways). The main issue hogging headlines here in Bengloor is the not so nice NICE controversy. In plain talk, it can be analysed in the following way. Our sorry excuse of a CM (who actually is a movie producer cum uber real estate developer) decides that he has a lot of money to make if he scuttles the already long delayed project. And Deve "I-will-slit-my-throat" Gowda concurs, so what the hassle? Now, here's something interesting. When it was revealed that HDK owned land adjacent to the BMIC project, Deve Gowda feigned amnesia about his comment that (his most oft repeated quote, after I-will-eat-poison) he would slit his throat. Damn! And look at me, I'd already got the knives out. Eat dung, Messrs. Gowda and Swamy.

Rakhi Sawant's got balls (not literally of course). Of course, there is no need for prime time media coverage for the antics that led to proof of the same, but still, I guess looking at Ms Sawant will be better than watching ugly old Arjun Singh for a change. Taking a look at the photo of horny lilttle Mika frenching Rakhi almost made me puke. Two reasons behind it. One, does Mika really believe that he is irresistable demi-god kinda hunk whom women will fell is an honor to french? *Puke* . Two, look at the jeering faces in the background. It's clear that nobody gave a shit when a guy was forcibly tryiong to kiss a girl, who, in plain view, was trying to avoid the same. Disgusting, but i guess they're related to those perverts who rape women in moving cars. *Double Puke*. I support you, Rakhi, and I hope that sumbitch Mika gets "Something Something" in return for his crass behavior.

The only thing good about my life these days is the World Cup. There are some very good reasons behind it. One, it makes me feel good about the money I blew up on buying the large screen telly and the digital signal decoder. Two, India is not playing, hence no fear of feeling despondent after a game. Three, Pakistan is also not playing. Hence, they're still shite.

On the movie front, I have taken a couple of harsh decisions on my big spending on DVDs. No more buying until I finish watching the 100 odd movies that I have already bought. I wouldn't be surprised if I find a few rupees (well quite a few, actually) more in my bank account at the end of the month. But now, I wait with immense anticipation, as it's payback time. I am not being immodest when I say that my collection truly rocks. Here's to a nice time in couch potato zone. Sigh, football and movies. What more can I ask for?

The holy cow has mooed (and will continue to do so on a more frequent basis). Watch this space for more updates.

We're not racist....We're just a little pissed - P3

2006-06-01T08:29:00.000+05:30
My viewpoint
There are 2 kinds of North Indians for me. (Thanks to Keshava for putting in words what I had in my mind all along) Those who come down to Bangalore, love the place, and make an effort to blend in. And then, there are those who live here but crib about the place and about the people. It is about the latter that I wish to put forth my viewpoint on.

Let me make it clear that cribbing about a place is perfectly OK by me. In fact, I guess nobody cribs as much as me when it comes to the condition of our roads, or the traffic situation etc. But it's really ridiculous to complain about people, to look down upon them as second grade citizens. Is it just because we speak in a funny accent, or we cannot speak our national language too well? If yes, then my faith in appealing to good sense lies shattered.

Do you really believe you are superior?
I see no reason to be diplomatic anymore, as I am talking about a section of the population I don't have much respect for. If you believe that you are a superior race, then please heed my unsolicited advice. Get out of my city. Go wherever else it is that you consider to be a better place for uber races to survive. And yeah, before you get suckered into the feeling that you actually are "better", let me lull you out of that false sense of security. You are not!

Give us respect, maybe you'll get some back
Have any of you guys ever tried learning the local language? Relax, I'm not asking you write a Kannada epic. I had a friend who learnt a coupla words. Yaake, Yeshtu, Yenu, Yelli etc. And everytime he went out, he could get by pefectly with a few words. And he used to tell me the bus conductors/ auto drivers used to grin at him and treat him with *literally* new found respect for making an attempt at least speak a few words in the language that they understood. He said to me, "They seem to be elated they do not have to make an attempt to speak in a language foriegn to them". The best way to show respect to the locals around you is to try and learn a bit of their culture. Learn a little of the language. Give a smile once in a while. I doesn't cost you anything. remember, if anyone's doing a favor, then it's the locals to you. You dont have to act like you deserve all the care and understanding in the world, and that you can be rudely dismissive to the rest of us. Give us some respect, and maybe you'll get some back.

We're not racist....We're just a little pissed - P2

2006-05-19T10:33:00.000+05:30

With the IT boom came the population explosion of Bangalore. Nope, it wasn't any localised baby boom that this part of the world saw. Instead, it was people from all over India coming in to get into what is, inarguably, the best field to be in if you are young and dream big.

With this, came the attitude.

And since then, things have spiralled downwards.

It's not as much a Bangaloreans dislike for North Idians (or for that matter, people from South India..remember the stats), but the average NI's holier-than-thou attitude that gets our goat.

Here are a few responses I got from my friends when I asked them whether they thought NI's were arrogant.

Atul said "I have seen and experienced the prejudice against south Indians by north Indians..."

Anoop was of the opinion that NI's are generally more pompous than SI's. Hence the holier-than-thou attitude.

Praveen said "I dont think Northies look down on southies.... Still they comment a lot on our accent and our movies too...(Being in the hostel, we get hilarious comments on senti n flamboyantly coloured song sequences in movies here..).. Although, we too laugh with them,Still we feel somewht bad.."

Others I spoke to or those who wrote to me were generally of the consensus that, well, yeah, it does happen sometimes, but it may be true vice -versa too. But what made me really happy was except for a few here and there, nobody dared generalise. Shows how the mindset of Gen-X (yup...we're Gen X...gen Y is the one with pink mobile phones) is so different fromt the generation before us.

OK. Before, I launch into what my view of the subject is, let's see why NI's may have a grouse against the city that feeds them. This would be true for any person who goes and lives in a city that is not his home. DK hit the nail on the head when he mailed me this....

1) They get cheated almost everywhere coz they are unable to communicate in local language(shops and autos etc).
2) In any issue localites support thier own people over non-localites. Even if they know that the localite is guilty.
3) Even police will ignore most of the times non-localites.
4) Localites won't talk to them unless it is unavoidalble.
5) Localites will try to warn them that the place is not thier home and its not easy to do all things they used to do at thier place.
6) They may be pissed with the weather conditions there.

Well, maybe not no. 6, but what the heck.

Let me start with this incident that happened next to my house. There's this PG accomodation that a Marathi guy runs. He's a nice guy, lived in Karnataka for almost all his life. He is, like we say, an achchu-kattu Kannadiga. There were 4 North Indians together with two South Indians living in that house. One fine night, after a drinking session, the North Indians went wild, screaming at the top of their voice, hurling abuses at the owner. (We all know the standard abuses from NI, don't we? Not very pretty) This went on for quite some time. When one of the SI's questioned them as to why they were doing what they were doing, he got to view just 4 scornful faces in reply. The next day, when the owner found out about this, he failed to take it lying down. He woke up these guys from their booze induced slumber, gave them a months notice to clear out of the house. When I spoke to him(the owner) later, he told me that it was not the drinking he was bothered about. But the abuses that were hurled at him (racist) were just unacceptable. He now says that he will never accept any NI's in his PG hostel.

He generalized. I refuse to.....

More about my opinion in the next part

We're not racist....We're just a little pissed - P1

2006-05-11T08:40:00.000+05:30
Take this. When it rained in Mumbai and the city got flooded, there were stories of extraordinary compassion, where everyone helped everyone to get by the trying times. Cut to Bangalore, where people charged exorbitant amounts for help. 200 ruppees to push your stalling car, 150 ruppees to fix a puncture etc. Doesn't paint a nice picture of this city now, does it?

I have been thinking about this diametrically opposite reaction for quite some time now. It is common knowledge that Bangalore does not see as much cut throat competition or a rat race like in Mumbai where, as John Abraham so rightly put it in one of his movies, time is money! It's not been like that in Bangalore. We have always been laid back, relaxed, easygoing, blahblah... More importantly, we have always, like Mumbai (though the Shiv Sena has created a hiccup more than on one occasion) welcomed our fellow Indians to our city to lead a comparitively better life than what they would have had in their hometowns. The statistics speak for themselves. With 32% Kannadigas in the city, we are a minority in our own hometown. Not that we mind, really.

Or so, that seems to have been the case......

Sledging

2006-04-28T13:58:00.000+05:30

I am not a great (email)forward reader, but the following post has quite a lot of memorable sledges from the game of cricket (Ah, that beautiful game). Many thanks to Sooraj for the Fwd.

Go ahead...enjoy.

Best Cricket Sledges:

Wiki refers to sledging as 'exchanging words with opposition player(s) which can put him(them) off their usual game; it is an attempt to "psych out" an opponent'. Cricket is a very interesting game, and sledging adds to it the extra spice that make it much more than just game.Here is a compilation of the best sledging related incidents, witnessed in the history of cricket...

History:
Sledging has always been a part of cricket.Even the great WG Grace did it. Once in an exhitbition match given out leg-before, he refused to walk and told the umpire: "They came to watch me bat, not you bowl". And the innings continued.

Grace's ability to stand his ground would have done Sunil Gavaskar proud. Once, when the ball knocked off a bail, he replaced it and told the umpire: "Twas the wind which took thy bail orf, good sir." The umpire replied: "Indeed, doctor, and let us hope thy wind helps the good doctor on thy journey back to the pavilion."

The best WG Grace sledge was on him, though, not from him. Charles Kortright had dismissed him four or five times in a county game - only for the umpires to keep turning down his appeals. Finally, he uprooted two of Grace's three stumps. Grace stalled, as though waiting for a no-ball call or something, before reluctantly walking off with Kortright's words in his ears: "Surely you're not going, doctor? There's still one stump standing."

The Prasad Vs Sohail Incident :
Hero to Zero in 3 easy stepsChasing India's score of 287-8, pakistan got off to a flyer of a start, Amir Sohail and Saeed Anwar went about tearing the Indian bowling attack. Pakistan looked all set to win as they reached 110 odd for the loss of just 1 wicket within the 15 overs.
1. Play a Great Shot: Amir Sohail was completely bent on demolishing the Indian bowling to pieces, charging down the track to the faster bowlers (if u can call Prasad that) in this particular case he came down the ground (a good 4-5 steps, anymore and he would have hit Prasad too) and slashed the bowl over vacant off side area... the ball disappeared into the fence in a flash ... what followed has since been etched in the memories of every cricket fan in the subcontinent.
2. Act Oversmart: Amir Sohail is no Miandad. But he tries to be,and fails miserably. Sohail after hitting the shot pointed his bat the area where the bowl had disappeared and then towards Prasad apparently gesturing where he will send the next one.Its not everyday that you see a batsman sledging the bowler, and Sohail was about to learn just why.
3. Get what you called for: Sohail attempting to repeat the shot (albeit with his feet stuck to the ground this time) made room and exposed his stumps, and his weakness, and in return lost his wicket and his face.As the wicket lay uprooted, Prasad returned the favour to Sohail, pointing to the pavilion this time. The comeback was truly remarkable, almost a miracle .... Prasad has bowled thousands of deliveries and taken hundereds of wickets in his career but, it was this one granted him a place in the History of Indian Cricket .. for ever... the ghost of Miandad's last ball six was exorcised, once and for all.

Steve Waugh Vs Curtly Ambrose Episode:
It really does not get any bigger than this, the two legends of cricket came face to face, literally and engrossed in a verbal duel in a test match in Trinidad. All the juicy details were not to be known until Steve Waugh came out with his autobiography.Ambrose repeatedly stared Waugh down during a searing spell, and Waugh, who sized up the towering Ambrose, said: "What the f*ck are you looking at? "Ambrose was stunned because, as Waugh says (in his Autobiography), "no one had ever been stupid enough" to speak to him like that.Ambrose replied, "Don't cuss me, man", before Waugh's response, which had nothing to do with bowling."Unfortunately, nothing inventive or witty came to mind, rather another piece of personal abuse: 'Why don't you go and get f*cked.' "The Windies skipper Richie Richardson had a hard time keeping Ambrose from hurting the Aussie.

McGrath Vs Brandes:
In a showdown of best pacers of two countries, Brandes made up for his complete absence of batting skills by some displaying some great sense of humor and presence of mind.Aussie paceman Glenn McGrath was bowling to Zimbabwe number 11 Eddo Brandes - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?"Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.

Viv Richards v Greg Thomas:
This incident took place during a county championship match between Glamorgan and Somerset.Glamorgan quickie Greg Thomas had beaten Viv Richards' bat a couple of times and informed the legendary West Indian ace: "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering."The very next ball was given the King Viv treament and smashed out of the ground, into a river - at which point Richards piped up: "Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and find it."

Merv Hughes and Viv Richards:
Merv Hughes usually never short of a word while on the field, rarely keeps quite. During a test match in the West Indies Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f*ck off."

Sachin Tendulkar Vs Abdul Qadir:
The year was 1989, the little master had recently made his debut in Pakistan. Sachin not even old enough to get a driving licence Sachin Tendulkar was facing the best bowlers in the business. As the Pakistani crows jeered and mocked Sachin holding out the placards saying ""Dudh Pita Bhachcha ..ghar jaake dhoodh pee", (hey kid, go home and drink milk), Sachin sent the then young leg spinner Mustaq Ahmed hiding for cover (he had hit two sixes in one over. The frustaded mentor of Mustaq Ahmed the legendary Abdul Qadir challenges Sachin saying "Bachchon ko kyon mar rahe ho? Hamein bhi maar dikhao` (`Why are you hitting kids? Try and hit me.`).Sachin was silent, since then we all have come to know that he lets his bat do the talking. Abdul Quadir had made a simple request and Sachin obliged, and how. Sachin hit 4 sixes in the over, making the spinner look the kid in the contest. The over read 6, 0, 4, 6 6 6, David had felled Goliath ... and a legend was born.

Ian Healy Vs Ranatunga:
Ian Healy's made a legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c*nt!"

McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan:
Sarwan, the West Indies vice-captain, and McGrath went toe-to-toe in an ugly shouting match in Antigua in May 2003, The incident was sparked after Sarwan, on his way to a match-winning second-innings century, reportedly reacted to lurid taunts from McGrath by telling him he should get the answers from his wife, who was recovering from radiation therapy for secondary cancer. The details : McGrath: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?"Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."McGrath (losing it): "If you ever F*&king mention my wife again, I'll F*cking rip your F*fing throat out."

Mark Waugh Vs Adam Parore:
Mark Waugh was standing at second slip, Adam Parore relatively new to cricket came to the crease played & missed the first ball.Mark Waugh- "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you're fu*king useless now".Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".

Ravi shastri v/s Mike Whitney:
Its common knowledge that Indian's usually don't resort to sledging, and the Aussies swear by it. In this rare ocassion the tables had turned and it was the Aussies who were at the receiving end.Shastri hits the ball towards Mike Whitney (the 12th man in the game) and looks for a single, this guy gets the ball in and saysWhitney: "If you leave the crease i'll break your f***ing head"Shastri didn't bat an eyelid before replying : "If you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"

Merv Hughes Vs Cronje :
Merv Hughes was one of the greatest exponents of the fine "art" of sledging. Once during a tour game in South Africa Hughes was bowling to Hansie Cronje . It was an especially flat wicket and Cronje was hitting Hughes for fours and sixes all over the place.After the umpteenth boundary, Hughes headed down the pitch, stood near Cronje, let out a fart and said: "Try hitting that for six." It was five minutes before the guffawing stopped and play could resume.

Robin Smith and Merv Hughes:
During 1989 Lords Test, Merv Hughes said to Robin Smith after he played and missed: "You can't f*cking bat".Simth replied, both with the bat and with words, he smashed Hughes to the boundry and said "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f*cking bat and you can't f*cking bowl."

Team mates Sledging :
England were playing Pakistan and, at what turned out to be a crucial moment later on, Frank Tyson managed to get an outside edge off a Pakistani batsman after the batsman had been frustrating them on a hot sweaty day. The ball went right through the hands of Raman Subba Rao who was standing in first slip and through his legs. After the over Raman heads over to the bowler and says, "Sorry Frank, I should've closed my legs." Frank Tyson, who didn't find any of this amusing, quipped back, "No, you bastard, your mother should have."

Ian Healy Vs a Short chubby batsman:
In one of the tour matches in South Africa, Australia played Hansie Cronje's province. Cronje was at the non strikers end, there was a short chubby batsman on strike.Ian Healy yelled to Warne, "Bowl a Mars Bar half way down...We'll get him stumped"The Aussies and Cronje were all in hysterics, all this was before a classic reply from the batsman.The exact words: "Nah, Boonie (David Boon fielding at short leg) will be onto it before I can move."

Miandad Vs Lillee: The 'brats' clash:
Miandad played Lillee to square leg and completed an easy run, with a collision taking place in the center. According to Miandad, Lillee had tried to block him in the path. After a verbal exchange, Lillee went ahead and kicked Miandad on his pads. Miandad, started charging towards Lillee with his bat lifted high above the head, as if to hit him. The umpire's intervention prevented what could have turned out to be a real assault had Miandad gone head with his plans. However, the picture of Miandad hurling his bat at Lillee made the whole incident look even worse, and was promptly declared as the most indignified incident in the history of Cricket.Lillee's version, to this day, had Miandad first hitting him with the bat, and then swearing at him. He maintained that there was no contact from his side throughout the incident.

Hughes Vs Miandad:
The inimitable Merv Hughes has forgotten more about sledging than most people will ever know, so he was more than a little miffed to be on the receiving end in the 1991 Adelaide Test against Pakistan. Hughes and Javed Miandad almost came to blows after the Pakistani batsman dared to call big Merv a "fat bus conductor". But revenge was sweet for Hughes. A few balls later he finally got his man and as Miandad walked past, he could not resist shouting "Tickets, please!"

Dennis Lillee Vs Sunil Gavaskar:
Dennis Lillee and Sunil Gavaskar, were involved in a war of words in the 3rd Test, MCG, February 1981. A historic win for India in that Test would definitely not have taken place had Sunil Gavaskar not calmed down. He clashed with Australian fast bowler Dennis Lillee, who Gavaskar claims abused him after claiming his wicket and the Indian captain asked non-striker Chetan Chauhan to walk off the field, forfeiting the match. Gavaskar was batting on 70 when Lillee appealed for a leg before decision. Gavaskar showed his bat to the umpire, indicating he had 'nicked' the ball before it hit his pads. Angry words were exchanged between the batsman and the bowler, and Lillee even went to the extent of pointing to the batsman the spot where the ball had his pads. The decision went in favour of the bowler and as Gavaskar started his long, dejected walk back to the pavilion, Lillee turned around and abused him. That was it. Gavaskar snapped, and decided to forfeit the match.Later, Gavaskar was to write in his book 'Idols': "That (the walkout) was the most regrettable incidents of my life. Whatever may be the provocation and whatever the reason, there was no justification for my action and I realize now that I did not behave the way a captain and sportsman should."

Flintoff Vs Tino Best:
Best, never short of a word or two when he is bowling, was done up like a kipper by the England all-rounder as West Indies slumped to defeat in the first Test. Flintoff saw his opponent preparing to face Giles' off-spin and shouted: "Watch the windows, Tino!" The wind-up had the desired effect, causing Best to come charging out of his crease like a man possessed. He took a wild swing at the ball, missed and was promptly stumped by Geraint Jones. Not a broken window in sight. Flintoff could not contain himself and spent the next five minutes giggling like a teenager, as Best sat on the balcony rueing his stupidity.

Viv Richards to Gavaskar:
Gavaskar had decided to relinquish his opening position and come in at no 4 for that test. But, Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2.And he thought there would be less pressure! Viv Richards says "Man, it don't matter where you come in to bat, the score is still zero."

Steve Waugh and Parthiv Patel:
Amidst all the hype surrounding his farewell match, Steve Waugh had to contend with an unexpected dose of his own medicine from a player half his age.As Waugh fought a grim battle to stave off defeat in the series-deciding fourth Test in Sydney, 19 year-old Indian wicket-keeper Parthiv Patel tried to unsettle the veteran batsman through some banter.The baby-faced Patel egged on the 38 year-old stalwart to play one of his sweep shots one last time.The India 'keeper was saying, 'Come on, just one more of the famous slog-sweeps before you finish'Waugh replied: 'Look, show a bit of respect. You were in nappies when I debuted 18 years ago'.

Rod Marsh and Ian Botham:
When Botham took guard in a Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife and my kids?"

Trueman and Aussie batsman:
In an England v Australia Test during early 1960's Trueman was fielding close to the gate from the pavilion. As a new batsman came out he turned to shut the gate, Trueman said "Don't bother son, you won't be out there long enough."

Daryll Cullinan and Shane Warne:
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

Adam Parore and Daryll Cullinan:
Because Cullinan is well known for being Warne's bunny, New Zealand keeper Parore greeted the South African, carefully playing the first ball from kiwi Chris Harris, with a cry of: "Bowled Warnie!"

Malcolm Marshall and David Boon:
Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

James Ormond and Mark Waugh
James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by MarkWaugh……..Mark : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England"
James: "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family"

Waugh Vs Jamie Siddons:
In a Sheffield Shield game between NSW and SA, a Waugh twin (not sure which) was taking an enternity to take guard, asking the umpire for centre, middle and leg, two legs - the whole lot. Then he steps away towards leg side and has another look around the field, before re checking centre.Jamie Siddons is at slip, and decided enough is enough. He yells out."For christ sake, it's not a 'f*cken test match."Waugh replies: "Of course it isn't ... You're here."

Mother (in law) of all sledges:
In the 1980's Ian Botham returned early from a tour of Pakistan, and on radio joked "Pakistan is the sort of country to send your mother in-law to ." Needless to say the Pakistanis did not find this amusing, and when Pakistan defeated England in the 1992 World Cup Final, Aamer Sohail told Ian Botham "Why don't you send your mother-in-law out to play, she cannot do much worse."

Barmy Army Vs Shane Warne:
England's "Barmy Army" recently decided to sledge leg spinner Shane Warne musically, and it has been described as boorishly personal, but effective.The sledge was based on Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep - the "Where's your poppa gone?" Song. It has been converted to "Where's your missus gone?" (Warne had recently been divorced )

Holier than thou?

2006-04-25T11:37:00.000+05:30

I wanna do a post on Racism. Please leave your comments on the following :

- Whether you believe that North Indians look down upon South Indians as second class citizens, and ridicule them. (I don not wish to generalize here, but plain english does not allow otherwise)

- Would you make a distinction on caste/creed? Explain why.

I have some pretty strong beliefs myself, and would like to know what you guys think about it. So please feel free to comment, and try and leave your name back, so I can credit it to you in the original post.

Top 20 Movies, Lines, Heros, Villians of all time (Hollywood only)

2006-04-20T21:37:00.000+05:30
Top 20 Movies of all time:

1.CITIZEN KANE (1941)
2.CASABLANCA (1942)
3.GODFATHER, THE (1972)
4.GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)
5.LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)
6.WIZARD OF OZ, THE (1939)
7.GRADUATE, THE (1967)
8.ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)
9.SCHINDLER'S LIST (1993)
10.SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)
11.IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)
12.SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)
13.BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI, THE (1957)
14.SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959)
15.STAR WARS (1977)
16.ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)
17.AFRICAN QUEEN, THE (1951)
18.PSYCHO (1960)
19.CHINATOWN (1974)
20.ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (1975)

Top 20 Lines of all time :

1 Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
GONE WITH THE WIND 1939

2 I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.
GODFATHER, THE 1972

3 You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.
ON THE WATERFRONT 1954

4 Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
WIZARD OF OZ, THE 1939

5 Here's looking at you, kid.
CASABLANCA 1942

6 Go ahead, make my day.
SUDDEN IMPACT 1983

7 All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup.
SUNSET BLVD. 1950

8 May the Force be with you.
STAR WARS 1977

9 Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.
ALL ABOUT EVE 1950

10 You talking to me?
TAXI DRIVER 1976

11 What we've got here is failure to communicate.
COOL HAND LUKE 1967

12 I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
APOCALYPSE NOW 1979

13 Love means never having to say you're sorry.
LOVE STORY 1970

14 The stuff that dreams are made of.
MALTESE FALCON, THE 1941

15 E.T. phone home.
E.T. THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL 1982

16 They call me Mister Tibbs!
IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT 1967

17 Rosebud.
CITIZEN KANE 1941

18 Made it, Ma! Top of the world!
WHITE HEAT 1949

19 I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!
NETWORK 1976

20 Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
CASABLANCA 194

Top 20 heros and villians of all time :
(Hero and Villians mentioned together, in that order, in their respective positions)

1. Atticus Finch Dr.
(in TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD)

Hannibal Lecter
(in THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS)

2. Indiana Jones
(in RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK)

Norman Bates
(in PSYCHO)

3. James Bond
(in DR. NO)

Darth Vader
(in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK)

4. Rick Blaine
(in CASABLANCA)

The Wicked Witch of the West
(in THE WIZARD OF OZ)

5. Will Kane
(in HIGH NOON)

Nurse Ratched
(in ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S
NEST)

6. Clarice Starling
(in THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS)

Mr. Potter
(in IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE)

7. Rocky Balboa
(in ROCKY)

Alex Forrest
(in FATAL ATTRACTION)

8. Ellen Ripley
(in ALIENS)

Phyllis Dietrichson
(in DOUBLE INDEMNITY)

9. George Bailey
(in IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE)

Regan MacNeil
(in THE EXORCIST)

10. T. E. Lawrence
(in LAWRENCE OF ARABIA)

The Queen
(in SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN
DWARFS)

11. Jefferson Smith
(in MR. SMITH GOES TO
WASHINGTON)

Michael Corleone
(in THE GODFATHER: PART II)

12. Tom Joad
(in THE GRAPES OF WRATH)

Alex De Large
(in CLOCKWORK ORANGE)

13. Oskar Schindler
(in SCHINDLER’S LIST)

HAL 9000
(in 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY)

14. Han Solo
(in STAR WARS)

The Alien
(in ALIEN)

15. Norma Rae Webster
(in NORMA RAE)

Amon Goeth
(in SCHINDLER’S LIST)

16. Shane
(in SHANE)

Noah Cross
(in CHINATOWN)

17. Harry Callahan
(in DIRTY HARRY)

Annie Wilkes
(in MISERY)

18. Robin Hood
(in THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD)

The Shark
(in JAWS)

19. Virgil Tibbs
(in IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT)

Captain Bligh
(in MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY)

20. Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid
(in BUTCH CASSIDY & THE SUNDANCE KID)

Man
(in BAMBI)

This data has been sourced from the website of the American Film Institute. More top 100 lists can be obtained here.

Singin' In the Rain

2006-04-18T19:36:00.000+05:30

....Can be quite difficult if you have a cold.

Hence, I'm avoiding it.

Anyways, I now have seen the equivalent of "Indian" Chinese food. It's "German" Indian Food.

Just like how we Indians have modified Chinese food to suit our tastes (Don't kid yourself by claiming your humble Gobi Manchurian to be Chinese), zee Germans have modified Indian food to suit their tastes. Which generally means take all the spices out of the food, make it as bland/sweet as possible.

I walk into Indian Garden (the local Indian Hotel, run by a friendly Udupi guy, who btw doesn't give discounts, though I angled for one). I ask for his spiciest Chicken Dish. Chilli Chicken sir, he answers, back upright and all spiffy. OK, I say, one chilly chicken. (Now, every dish you order here in Germany, you get free unlimited Basmati Rice to go with it....Dont ask me what we get if we order rice....I'm guessing rice). I get my Chilli Chicken.....

To my dismay, it's as spicy as a rasgolla. (Well, that's an exaggeration, but trust me, it was frickin non-spicy-semi-sweet shit he gave me, claiming it was CHILLY Chicken)

Like I say, what goes around, comes around. Sigh!

Coincidence??

2006-04-17T11:53:00.000+05:30
I turn on my Ipod. I put it in shuffle mode.

First song that comes on : "Huttidare Kannada Nadalli...."

A tribute to Rajanna, A reflection of my thoughts as I walk in the rain on the streets of Walldorf.

Coincidence?......

Scene Change

2006-04-16T18:49:00.000+05:30
Finally in Walldorf, Germany!

What was upposed to happen in February has happened now, thanks to visa screw-ups and new projects coming up. But this time, i'm thankful about it. If i'd come down in February, it would've meant walking around in the snow, under layers of clothing. But now, it's different. Spring is setting in and the flowers are blooming. It's like a scene out of a picture postcard. And the fact that I live in a village also helps, as there is hardly any noise and pollution.

A telephone call home tells me that it rained in Bangalore, and everything looks beautiful. Sigh! Why did it have to wait till I left? Bangalore, for me, is at it's most beautiful after a nice shower. Of course, driving around after one is not very advisable, but sitting on the balcony, eating hot pakodas, or the local menasinkai bajji....mmmmm, life doesn't get better.

Watch this space for more updates about my time in Deutscheland. Till then, auf wiedersehen.

It's time to take a stand

2006-04-13T07:52:00.000+05:30

OK. So Annavru is no more. It definitely is a loss to the state. A even bigger loss to the film industry. May his soul rest in peace. He really is a great person. I sincerely believe so.

But so far it looks like the biggest losers are the normal, decent citizens of Bangalore. Pray, what justifies the vandalism, the burning of buses, police vehicles, private vehicles etc? If any of the guys who are reading this willingly partook in these activities, well, fu*k you moth*rfuc**s. I hope I've made my sentiments clear.

The police must throw human rights to the winds in such a case, and mercilessly thrash such vandals, and then call me, and let me mercilessly thrash them. Human rights do not apply to scum.

What surprises me most is the knee jerk reaction of the Software Industry in Bangalore. Just because a few mischief mongers decide to have some fun, at the expense of the larger peace loving and law abiding society does not mean you declare a holiday! We are the largest industry operating out of Bangalore, and we must not cow down to such acts of goondagardi.

I have taken a stand. No more will I let such events hamper my work. I have come to work today. I will treat it as any normal day. Life goes on. No piece of shit out on the road destroying public property is gonna stop me from doing my job. It's a matter of principles now.

May his soul rest in peace....

2006-04-12T15:32:00.000+05:30

(April 24, 1929 -April 12, 2006)

Never has there been a man who has inspired our state to the extent you have

...And some things never change!

2006-04-07T08:44:00.000+05:30

This post is the second part of my earlier post When change was the order of the day.

Though there were a lot of things that had changed in the city I love, there were somethings that remained pretty much the same, withstanding with all it's might the winds of change.

Jayanagar 9th Block : The market is as busy as ever, with absolutely no change in how business is conducted. The push carts, the screaming vendors, all of it remains the same. And yes, it still is a terror to drive through, because you never know who'll zip onto the road when you least expect it.

Lalbagh : This haven for ealy morning walkers remains so. For me, it's the only remaining lung space of Bangalore. Once you walk into it's gates, the difference in the quality of air you breathe in is quite obvious. And the rush of the early morning walkers in MTR, for their steaming cuppa coffee is one tradition that I think will never break.

Hang Out Zones : No prizes for guessing that the hangout zones were still MG Road and Brigade Road. Of course, now we have a coupla malls and multiplxes, but till then, it was these roads that half of Bangalore used to descend upon. The best place to see all the pretty women gather, even today.

Deccan Herald : I never have a good day, if I do not read the Deccan Herald early in the morning. It has been Bangalore's best newspaper for as long as I can remember. Though it has changed it's format and size recently, it still remains my favorite newspaper. After all, i've been reading it since I was five.

India Coffee House : This hotel is situated on MG Road, and is my favorite eat out in that area, KFC and Coffee Day notwithstanding. The original coffee place, it is unique in the sense that the waiters are all decked up like some Raj-era butlers. I can swear I had seen the waiters ages back, and they continue to loyally wait tables at the same place. And yes, they give you a knife and a fork to eat dosa's with!

I have seen Bangalore, from the past to the present, seen it's metamorphosis from a small little city with an identity of it's own, into a stuggling metropolis which is without an Identity. Though me and millions of others like me owe our job to the changes that have occured, I still look back with a sense of nostalgia as to what was, what it could have been and what it is currently. And i'm sad......

But I have, and always will remain at heart, A Bangalorean

Pics from my Trip - Day 2

2006-04-06T10:58:00.000+05:30

Keshava...the original cool dude

The three monkeys

Quite a Backdrop

Hanumangundi

Fun in the water

Yoga Guru Dushyanth showing the Dead Fish Aasana

At Lakya Dam

Sights on the drive back

My Road Trip to Kudremukh - Part 2

2006-04-06T09:29:00.000+05:30
Sunday April 2nd:

Day 2 was supposed to begin early, but due to our tired and aching bodies that cried out for more rest, we had no other option but to begin late, in fact much later than initially anticipated. After getting ready, we made a trip to the famous Kadri Temple of Mangalore. Though we did not spend too much time within the temple, the calm and serene environs of the place gave me a lot of mental peace. Also, this temple is one of the more well maintained ones I have seen.

Soon, we left Mangalore for Kudremukh, the five of us. The first stop for refreshments was at Nitte, opposite the famous (world famous in Mangalore i.e.) college. After the appropriate energy boosters that we had, we moved on. Now, I have to say that I have been on few drives in South India that match the beauty of the drive in the Kudremukh National Park road. Of course, thed rive to Ooty or Kodai comes to mind, but these roads are very crowded, when compared to the near empty Kudremukh road.

The next stop was at South Kanara Border, where there's a breathtaking view of the ghats from a vantage point. Also, the adjacent hi-tension power lines keep giving a constant hum. It's quite a freaky experience to actually hear the electricity
passing through. This is also the place where I coonvinced the rest of the guys to pose for this photo. Looks like the thin air on that altitude got to them. (No offense guys).

The next stop was at Hanumangundi, which is a waterfall in the Mountains. I had last been there during my PU days on our class trip (Ah, how can I ever forget that time...those beautiful dames...sigh). It was a sense of deja vu for me, as the memories came flooding back (literally, when I was under the waterfall). There were a few changes out there too. For one, there was an entry fee to go down to the waterfall. Secondly, now there are steps to make your climb down and up easier (debatable). But still, the beauty and the charm of the place remains intact. It's nice to see the government taking some initiative in promoting tourism in these areas. But guys, one word of advice. Please don't overdo it. We dont wanna end up with another one of those crass commercialized resort kinda place.

It was great fun getting into the water again, after having been to the beach the previous evening. Of course, beach water is salty and warm, thanks to the heat. But here, the advantage of the waterfall being in the mountains worked wonderfully to the benefit of us sweaty and tired guys. The water was cold and we were in the lake in a jiffy. Though it was a little diificult to adjust to the cold water initially, after around 5 minutes, we didn't really give a damn and went the whole way. Boy, I have to say that the two hours that we spent in the waterfall was the best part of the road trip for me. Adding to the beautiful sight of the gushing waterfall were the women(pretty one's too) who'd come there. Seemed to us at that time that it was the best 30 bucks we ever spent. Seems like it even now.

After having a rollicking time in the falls, we moved to Kudremukh. It was a bit of a dampener that we did not get the permit to take a hike in the National Park. That was the biggest loss for us on the trip. Nevertheess, when you're hungry and tired, such things matter little. Heading to the lone restaurant in kudremukh (of course, the keenly observant Vivekananda spotted a board that said Hotel Ravi, but if that's a hotel, then I'm a monkey's uncle), we asked for the menu. Here's how the converstaion proceeded :

Us : What's there for lunch? Waiter : Everything's over, only South Indian meals left....
10 seconds of silence
Waiter : So, what would you like? Us : You haven't left us with much of a choice, have you...

I have to say, the South Indian meals tasted like the most delicious food we've ever had. And all for damn cheap too. Cost us like 25 bucks a pop, taking extra everything. Content and full, we drove our way back down, but not before stopping at the picturesque Lakya dam for another photograph session.

The next stop was at beautiful Kapu beach, where I had my usual Beer and Fish fry. I have no photographs to show because my camera ran out of battery. But skipped climbing to the top of the lighthouse beacuse i wa stoo tired. I just sat there by the sea shore, soaking in the cool breeze and enjoying the view.

The drive back to Mangalore and dinner at Dolphin, both of them weren't spectacular. All in all, it was a great day, the only disappointment being not being able to take a walk in the National Park. After dropping off Keshava to the bus stand, I headed home wards, and crashed soon after.

Monday April 3rd :

The drive back to Bangalore began on schedule (by this I mean only a slight delay). Nothing out of the ordinary happened thankfully, and we were back in Bangalore and heavy traffic by 5.

T'was a great trip, this one. And i'd like to thank my friends for joining me and helping keep the trip economical. All in all, my expenditure came to around 1200 bucks. Quite good, considering the last time round, when I travelled by bus all over i spent over two grand. But i'd like to thank them more, because without them, this trip would have been a big bore. Till, the next road trip then....Watch this space

Pics from my Trip - Day 1

2006-04-05T10:45:00.000+05:30

On NH48, I met my namesake

At the watefall by the tea-stall

Nirvana for a Bangalorean

Boarding a rickety watch tower in the ghats

Sunset at the beach

The eyesores

Ending the day at Bhattre's

My Road Trip to Kudremukh - Part 1

2006-04-05T08:57:00.000+05:30
Like all good trips, this too began late. But early enough to ensure that getting out of Bangalore would not be a pain. And also early enough to feel the cool morning air soothe our much worked souls. It was in the pipeline for quite some time, this trip. Road trippin' has always been my favorite form of "getaway", and when DK (batchmate from PU) suggested this to me, I jumped at the idea. Together with Keshava (classmate from RVCE), we set out on our trip to Kudremukh via Mangalore. My dad's trusty old Maruti 800 was to be our steed for this journey. And boy, some journey this was!

Saturday April 1st :
We (me and DK) set out from my house at 5 am. Picking up Keshava, and more importantly, some cash en route, we proceeded out of Bangalore. Hough i did not intend to earlier, bowing to public demand, i stopped for some tea at one of the obscure villages (which means one temple, five houses and one tea stall) on NH48 for some, you guessed it, tea. It was the first time, as far as I can remember, that i knowledgably had buffalo milk. And it tasted pretty good i must say. But looking at all the flies surrounding the buffalo make me feel pukish. But i figured thats what added the zing to the milk. I guess the tea got me a little heady, coz then I let Keshava drive. I have nothing against him personally, but his track record in college often deters me from trusting him with my life by putting him in the drivers seat. Anyways, I was pleasantly surprised with the way he drove. Also, NH48 Nirvana for guys like us, used to chok-a-blok traffic in Bangalore, so i guess it wasn't too difficult for Keshava to drive straight. Next stop was at Kamath Upachara for breakfast. This place is an Indian world class rest stop, with good food and decent toilets. From there on it was a straight drive upto Shiradi Ghat, when we stopped at a neat little tea stall next to a tiny waterfall. After refreshing ourselves with some coffee (aha...gotcha!!! You were thinking tea, weren't you?)
, we moved on. We reached Mangalore finally at 2 pm and headed straight to Vivekananda's (Please forgive him for the way he looks...It's just that I have a bad camera) house, where we greeted warmly by him and his parents. We had the decency to wish them back before we dug into the awesome food prepared for us. Chicken Sukka, Kori Rotti, Chicken Biryani..mmmmmm. Good start, I could already feel the positive vibes. The evening saw us in Tannirbhaavi beach. Now, I was hitting the beach after quite a long time, and I could not contain my excitement as I bounded like an excited little girl (which I'm not....usually) into the sea. Boy, that was fun. Devender also joined us by then, and soon we had quite an animated conversation going on about all things absolutely worthless and of no consequence. Dinner saw us heading to Vivek's house again to polish off whatever was left from the afternoon, plush some fresh dalitoy. After this it was off to DK's house for a nightcap.

Much more to come about the trip, watch this space for updates.

Gangster - A music review - * * * *

2006-04-04T15:15:00.000+05:30
How long can you keep listening to the same coupla songs before you get tired of them? If it is Gangster, and if you are on a road trip while listening to the songs, then never.

Mahesh Bhatt movies seem to draw heavy influences from across the border. First it was the Pakis who made their presence felt (Paap had Junoon's Ali Azmat and Rahat Fateh Ali Khan whereas Zeher and Kalyug had Atif Aslam, an erstwhile member of the Paki Rock Band Jal). This time they go east to Bangladesh and unearth this guy called James.

This guy totally burns up the track Bheegi Bheegi. A slowish pop-rock number, the variations in the pitch of singing and the guitaring make it an enjoyable track. Apparently, this track is based on on a song called Prithibi by the late Gautam Chatterjee (a cult Bengali rock songwriter who was the leader of a band called Mohiner Ghoraguli). (Source:Rediff)

KK reinforces his growing stature as a singer of repute and extraordinary talent with the melodious and emminently hummable Tu hi meri Shab hai. Excellent chorus at regular intervals make you wanna hum along. Fairly simple with the lyrics, this one is the easiest listen in the album.

Saving the best for the last, Ya Ali is the scorcher of the album. Newcomer Zubeen's quasi-nasal vocals (a Himesh Reshammiya hangover?) make you sit up and take note of this song. I have to admit I did not understand much of the song, but it's great to listen to nevertheless, and gets you all enthusiastic and aggressive.

The other songs just fill up empty space. Not worth listening to. Music Director Pritam Singh has done a good job. I recommend this album as a must buy. After all, it's rare now-a-days to get 3 good hindi songs in one album. That too without listening to that whiner we call Himesh Reshammiya.

I hate to subject the world to this...but here I am

2006-04-04T11:28:00.000+05:30

When change was the order of the day

2006-03-29T15:57:00.000+05:30
This is how I saw Bangalore after 5 years of living in that gem of a town called Mangalore.

Bannerghatta Road : Could not recognize it. Right at the entrance was the new Infosys Pride apartments (which was then changed to just Pride Apartments after Infy made a fuss. I have no idea why it was called Infosys Pride in the first place)

Jayanagar Fourth Block : This was total let down. Traffic, hordes of people everywhere.The old Pavitra hotel was torn down. There was hectic work going on for renovation, but all the charm was lost. Cool Joint was doing brisk business as usual. Adigas was getting a foothold into the big league, moving on from the tiny darshini that it orginally satrted as.

Kanakapura Junction : Wow, this was something. When i'd left Bangalore, the ring road ended here. We'd heard about something being in the pipeline about extending the road. When I was back, the road had extended all the way upto Mysore road, eliminating the need for people in South Bangalore to circle round the city, and going via KR Market to get there.

The Weather : absolutely rocked. Mangalore has horrible weather, throughout the year, and coming to Bangalore to see the Mercury dip to 7- degrees in the night was like stepping into a refrigerator. Not to mention driving a dilapidated bike in the early morning fog that reduced visibility to bare meters.

The Food : Getting decent idli sambar in Magalore was a pain. So was getting good Masala Dosa. But out here in Bengloor, that's the least of your problems. Just pop in to any one of the Darshini's and all your idli dosa dreams come true. I recommend however, SLV Ragigudda for Idli sambar and Dosa Camp, Jayanagar for Dosas of any kind. And if you have time and patience, Vidyarthi Bhavan in Gandhi Bazaarserves the most amazing Masala Dosa. (When i'd been to VB once, i found a glass that had the follwing words inscribed on it : "Stolen from Vidyarthi Bhavan"...Nice way of shaming people into not stealing their tumblers)

BMTC Buses : When i'd left, they were red monsters, and called BTS. When I was back, they were a more pleasant blue and cream, and called BMTC. The level of service had also improved, and by then, BMTC was the only public transport service in Asia to be making a profit.

A lot more things exist, but they do not come to mind right now. Watch this space for more updates.

Oldboy - A review - * * * * *

2006-03-28T08:59:00.000+05:30
I bought this movie solely because I had heard that Zinda was a remake of it. Though I was pretty disappointed with Zinda, the thought of watching a Korean movie for the first time, together with the fact that the DVD cost only 75 bucks made me reach out to my wallet. And (old)boy, was it a good investment!

If you've seen Zinda, and you thought the movie has an edgy and queer feel to it, then Oldboy will leave you astounded. The movie starts with the main protagonist of the movie, Oh-Dae-Su (apparently, thats the way Koreans like to name themselves. Further on, In this review you will notice that I do not use any other names of characters, purely because the names are too wierd for me to remember) being kidnapped, and locked away. Why? He doesn't know. Where? He doesn't know. Who did this? He doesn't know. He keeps waiting for his release, which never comes. His whole life revolves round the television, which is his teacher, guide, friend, philosopher, lover. Then one day, 15 years later, he's set free. And he's told to find out why this was done to him. In 5 days......

There, thats the crux of the story. Zinda was about a school prank gone wrong and a guy avenging the outcome. Oldboy, though with the same plot outline, is about incest. Please do not watch it if your sensibilities are fragile, because if so, then you are bound to be scandalized by the movie. If you thought Zinda was violent and gory, Oldboy is a frickin blood bank. Some ofthe stuff includes Oh dae Su eating a live octopus, stuffing it into his mouth and chewing on it (Poor Guy, you gotta forgive him for that, coz for 15 years he's had nothing but wontons), gouging out teeth usng a hammer (shamelessly copied in Zinda), slitting throats with a broken tothbrush etc, cutting off one's tongue with a scissor... I hope you get the picture.Zinda had the milleniums worst ending, lame duck to the extreme. Oldboy will leave you stunned.

After the movie, I was left amazed by the deft screenplay, the cinematography and overall, the bravado of the director in bringing such a (potentially)controversial movie to light.

Finally, I'd like to thank Sanjay Gupta for being the plagarist that he is, beacuse if he'd not done what he's best at i.e. plagarise, then i'd have never heard about Oldboy. But Mr. Gupta, you goofed up this time. Zinda is a shame compared to Oldboy.

Addendum : This ones from Rediff.
"Sanjay Gupta call Zinda his tribute to every Korean movie he's seen. It's pretty obvious that he's seen only Oldboy"

Whats it about...

2006-03-27T13:14:00.000+05:30
... one time bloggers????

Most of these blogs carry just one single post, which invariably go like this :

Hiiiiiiiiii, (wonder whom they're saying this to)
Myself Blahmaster Dipshit. This is my first blog :)
Notice the smiley...and no dude, I had no idea this was your first post, forget a blog..Youre a regular Salman Rushdie. This sentence is generally followed a full blown photograph in front of a computer, with a shitty grin plastered across the face.

My hobbies include collecting newspaper clippings of big busted Malayalam heroines and listening to hindi filmy music. I wish to expose myself to the world and to do friendship with pretty women.
Yup, you're at the right place son. That's what the blogsphere's there for
Hope to catch you soon. Byeeeeeee.
Love,
Blahmaster Dipshit

PS : I want to make the world a better place with my writings of love

AAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGGHHH ...... MAKE WAY... PUKE

Life goes on.....

2006-03-27T11:44:00.000+05:30
They were both young and madly in love...With each other that is. But both of them were too egotistic to admit it first, always dropping hints for the other to take the first step. The one that never came...........

Education made them drift apart. Distance was no deterrent for them, or so they thought. Though they tried to remain in touch, the absence and lack of communication spelt the death knell for whatever they shared or hoped to share.

He moved on, fell in love with someone else and was happy. He had not much contact with his first love. The one day, through a third channel, he got some news about her. Apparently, she had also moved on since then. She too was in love.

Time stopped. Nothing mattered anymore. The memories came flooding back. He shed a quiet tear, about what could have been. Then he smiled, wished her all the best in his heart and hoped that she would remain happy forever. He realised he himself had nothing to regret. And life still goes on for him. Last seen, he had a grin on his face when typing this.

Who on Earth.....

2006-03-23T08:15:00.000+05:30
.....changed my template?????

Baby Steps in the right direction

2006-03-14T16:28:00.000+05:30
We now have a logo....

....how much longer before we have the real deal??

Photograph sourced from Deccan Herald.

Enduring the times, becoming immortal

2006-03-14T08:40:00.000+05:30
There are few radio/ televison jingles/ads that have lived through the times. This one's one of my favorites :

Nirma, Nirma, Nirma Detergent Tikiya
Iske jhaaaaaaaaag ne jadooooo kar diya
Paani me rehke bhi yeh kam gale
Dhero Kapde dhoye aur zyaada chale
Nirma, Nirma, Nirma Detergent Tikiya
Nirma

Also the Nirma Super ad, with Deepikaji (D) and the shopkeeper (SK) :

SK : Oho, Deepika ji, aaiyiye, aaiyiye. Yeh leejiye, aapka sab samaan taiyyar hai.
D : Yeh nahi, woh, Nirma Super neeli detergent tikiya
SK : Magar aap to woh hamesha mehengi waali tikiyaaaa.....?
D : Leti thi, magar wahi mehingi daamo wali quality, wahi safedi, wahi jhaag, jab kam daam me mile, to koyi woh kyon le, aur na le??
SK : Oho, maan gaye!
D : Kisko?
SK : Aapki baat ki nazar, aur Nirma Super, dono ko!

Voice over : Nirma Super, dhulaayi ka super dum, daam phir bhi kum!

I head from a friend that when he went to a party, the DJ actually played a remix which had "Washing Powder Nirma" thrown in at regular intervals, and it was the biggest hit of the evening! Long live Nirma! Nirmaa!!

Never Before, Never Again....

2006-03-13T08:21:00.000+05:30
I am not old enough to comment on this with authority, but few will disagree with me if I claim that this was the greatest ODI ever played. Imagine creating a world record before lunch, only to see it being consumed for dinner. Whew! I had goose pimples and my hair was standing on it's end. I was Mr Bean after an electric shock. That was the efect the game had on me.

Whoever said cricket is losing it's charm and is very one-sided, well, boss, think again! Because yesterday, Australia and South Africa played each other in a way that reminded people for the umpteenth time that cricket is a game of glorious uncertainity. I cannot stop commenting to all the people I meet about how lucky I was to watch the match.

Being a Sunday, I was out loafing around as usual, so I was unlucky to miss the first Innings when Australia massacared the South African bowling to post a mammoth 434 runs. Whew! (I'm beginning to use this word too often...but I just can't seem to think of anything else). Captain extraordinary Ricky Ponting led the way with a spectacular assault on the beleaguered SA bowlers, already struggling without Pollock.

Then the chase began. At the loss of the first wicket, Ponting must have started practicing his victory speech. But then, who on earth new that a bald guy who goes by the name Herschelle Gibbs had different ideas? Together with his captain, the ever non-flappable Graeme Smith, he went around smashing the Aussie bowlers all around the park. Ater the pair got out, it was pretty dicey, because SA, though on course, never has the luxury of losing a wicket and still continue to be on track, because the total they were aiming to bring down was so intimidating! But such situations, which generally crush the weaker willed players, also bring out the heroes in some. And this clarion call was answered by a imunitive little fella, whome people call Mark Boucher. Cool, Calm and Collected, Boucher held fort at one end, regularly smacking the boundaries while at the other end partners came and went, but not before making invaluable contributions themselves. All in all, it boiled down to the last over, when there were 7 runs reuired, and 2 wickets in hand. With one of the fasted bowlers in the world bowling this over, things could go either way.

Ball 1 : Lee to Boucher - Single. Boucher slams it back down the pitch. Lee stops the ball bravely, with his foot. One run.

Ball 2 : Lee to Hall - Four!!! Pulled over mid wicket, over the in field.

Ball 3 : Lee to Hall - Out!! Tries to repeat the shot, but hits it straing the Mid On

Ball 4 : Lee to Ntini - Single. Ntini runs it down to third man. after this the fielders converge into the 30 yard circle to stop the single.

Ball 5 : Lee to Boucher - Four!!! Slammed over mid -on ...... The greatest ever ODI brought to an end....No one was more deserving of scoring the final runs than Boucher

There were tears in my eyes.....

Images:

All pictures sourced from BBC and Deccan Herald.

A little risque, but harmless and enjoyable nevertheless

2006-03-10T09:01:00.000+05:30
Please proceed only if you have devilish sense of humor, and don't take offence to risque jokes.

There was a post on Spoonerisms by my friend and fellow blogger Vijay Krishna. Though his area of interest remained primarily in English ones, it got me thinking about the ones we have in Konkani. Of course, it's used by all young Konkani males (not the women though, never really understood why..any ideas???) deliberately, unlike how a spoonerism is generally used (involutarily, by mistake). Here are a few, with translations :

Spoonerism : Sooth Moanu Ettha (I'll break a thread and return)
Actual : Mooth Sonu Ettha (I'll pee and be back)

Spoonerism : Chetti Tonda Gopi (Gopi, with a flat face)
Actual : Gotto Tonda Chepi (Stuff your b***s in your mouth)

Spoonerism : Ganga Masterni (Ganga Teacher)
Actual : Mango Gasterni (Didn't wash your wee wee)

Spoonerism : Mira Kini (This is just a name)
Actual : Keera Minni (A parrots wee wee)

Here's a long one...

Spoonerism : Gayyele Baal Apponukka, Sing Maaratha (Dont touch a cows tail, it might attack you with it's horns)
Actual : Baylel Gall Apponukka, Mango Shiratha (Dont touch your wife's face, your wee wee may shrink)

And my personal favorite :

Spoonerism : Master Kini (fairly straightforward, take the english meaning)
Actual : Kasteri Minni (your little wee wee on your undies)

Who do you think won?

2006-03-09T08:36:00.000+05:30
The competition was to eat the worlds largest burger. The conditions :

"The requirements were absurdly outrageous: to eat 11 pounds of burger in under three hours, you’d have to be crazy, with an iron stomach and a mouth to match."

So now, who do you think won the competition?

This guy here ?

or is it...

Get more about the story here.

Meanwhile, the last I heard, kids in some parts of the world were still going without two square meals a day.

Wham, Bam, Thank You...

2006-03-08T08:45:00.000+05:30
Scene 1
Venue : Paris ,some boulevard with an unpronouncable name.

Here I am in this tour bus, with colleagues touring the city of Paris. Our bus driver, an uptight German, wants to reverse. He does. Rather he tries to, but the big Crruuunchhh deters him from trying anything else. When we come out and investigate, he's whacked a car, which was parked alonside the kerb, with the owner nowhere in sight. Read on to find out what happened next and be amazed:
- We wait for the owner of the car in question to arrive.
- When he does, the driver and the owner speak something.
- By what I make out, they've agreed that the car guy has insurance, so it's not a problem.
- They exchange business cards, and we're on our way.

Scene 2
Venue : Hudson Circle , Bangalore
There's an auto (what else?) and a Tempo Goods carrier. Both of them coming towards Hudson Circle from Nrupathunga Road. (Now anyone who's made this turn will agree with me that it's one of the most dangerous stretches in Bangalore. Everyone freely cuts lanes and for those fleeting moments, you're not really sure if you'll get out alive)
Auto Guy wants to go to Corporation Circle, Tempo Guy to Kasturba Road. Both of then on wrong lanes, both decide to cut lanes at the same fateful moment. CRASH. Both drivers get out. Fisctcuffs ensue. Jam all over the place. No cops in sight.

Welcome to Bangalore

COALITION AGAINST CORRUPTION

2006-03-07T08:25:00.000+05:30
I claim no originality in this post. This is done purely to raise awareness about the Coalition against Corruption.

I also request other bloggers from bangalore to take note of this organization, and raise awareness among the people. Bribery is the scourge of this country, and must be combated against. This is a step in the right direction

Objectives of CAC

CAC is a campaign involving citizens to fight against corruption in government departments and agencies. Under the aegis of Public Affairs Centre, (PAC), five dedicated non-profit organizations in Bangalore have come together to establish a HELPLINE which would provide assistance to citizens in the redressal of their complaints and grievances relating to corruption faced from public departments and agencies. CAC will address corruption in public utilities and departments by bringing social and moral pressure on the impugned agencies (and corrupt officials) through an established citizen-friendly process.

Modality of Functioning

- The affected citizens may register their complaints with CAC by filling up a brief factual statement, or online, or by telephone. In the latter cases, the complainants will be required to follow up with written complaints, in order to authenticate their identity.

- CAC will forward the complaints to the appointed nodal officers in the departments and agencies concerned for taking remedial action. These should be based on actual demands for illegal gratifications, or where their requests for services are unduly delayed or denied, with the apparent motive to canvass illegal gratifications.

- CAC will follow up the complaints in case responses are unavailable for a reasonable time, or are not satisfactory, by phone calls or meeting the nodal officers / higher authorities in the departments and agencies concerned, as required. The complainants will be informed of the progress of their cases appropriately.

-CAC will give publicity through media to the complaints received and action taken.

CAC’s Effectiveness

Undoubtedly, the success of CAC will depend on the effective participation of willing and alert citizens. Transparency International (India) has listed Karnataka as one of the most corrupt states in the country. It is essential to reverse this trend through determined efforts and people participation. It is envisaged that:

- The social and moral pressure built up by CAC will act as a deterrent against corruption. CAC will enlist the support of the media and eminent citizens for the campaign against corruption.

- CAC will educate the public through awareness campaigns to stand against corruption. CAC will resort to the provisions of the Right to Information Act (RTI), where appropriate.

- The databank and data analyses to be undertaken by CAC will be disseminated to the government agencies, Lok Ayukta, and to the public.

Departments and Agencies covered

To start with, CAC will cover the following nine departments and agencies located in Bangalore.

Bangalore Mahanagar Palike (BMP);
Bangalore Development Authority (BDA);
Bangalore Water Supply and Sewerage Board (BWSSB);
Bangalore City Police (BCP);
Bangalore Electricity Supply Company (BESCOM);
Transport Department;
Revenue Department;
Stamps & Registration Department and
Department of Health (Hospitals).

In addition, CAC will also address specific instances of corruption, reported by affected citizens, in other departments and agencies, on a case-by-case basis.

Future Programmes

CAC will start with one centre located at the office of the PAC, at No.422, VI Block, 80 Feet Road, Koramangala. Additional centres will be opened in the subsequent phases at different localities in Bangalore.

For additional information on CAC, and to register your complaints and grievances, please contact:
Dedicated Helpline Number:4110 5161
Timings: 2:30 P.M. to 5:00 P.M.(Monday to Friday)
Coalition Against Corruption (CAC) Centre,
C/O Public Affairs Centre,No.422, VI Block, 80 Feet Road, Koramangala, Bangalore, 560095.
PAC Tel. Numbers:25537260/25520246/25525452/25525453
Email to: cacblr@gmail.com Website: www.pacindia.org

It's just another day, for you and me, In Paradise

2006-03-06T08:49:00.000+05:30

When in rains, it pours. Well, it wasn' t the case so far, here in Bangalore, unlike good ole Kudla, which makes the Bangalore rains look like a sorry excuse. But it seems like the big guy handling things up there is making up for lost time.

It rained. No, it poured last night. Lightning, Thunder, the works. And do I need to elaborate about the condition of the roads now? My thought that it was an incredible effort by the authorities to get the worst road in Bangalore back to a motorable condition, which, by the way, has now turned into a muckpool, is now replaced with a wry "I-wasn't-hoping-this-would-happen-but-it-did" smile.

Apart from the widespread destruction of roads that the rains cause (Mind you, I am not blaming the rain, let me make it very clear...If anything, I love the rains), another thing they do is bring down the temperatures big time. You can notice the difference early in the morning, when the air is crisp and everything looks clean and scrubbed. Thats exactly how the Bangalore of yore used to be. But, paradise is never the same, is it? Paradise lost will never be regained. *sigh*

Now, our esteemed CM, HDK, as the newspapers lovingly call him, has gone ahead and done a Deve Gowda, saying that his government will not cower to the "threats" of the IT/BT industries. It seems that this section of the working class public is being rowdy, by highlighting their problems, whilst ignoring the woes of other people. Yes, HDK saar, bad roads, poor electricity supply, lack of water, increasing traffic woes due to effective mismanagement by our traffic cops...all this affects only the IT/BT guys. The other people are totally insulated from all this. In fact, they enjoy it. Is that what you want to beleive? I was just beginning to get over my cynical view of you getting into the seat of power via your fathers drama, after listening to all your idealistic views. But then, you went ahead and proved that all of it was just horseshit.

The Holy Cow has lost all faith in politicos.

The things people do, I say...

2006-03-03T13:51:00.000+05:30
It's sad that I have fallen to such levels, trying to increase the hits on my blog. But thanks for coming anyways. (Apy, Dev...You have company in the pits)

A lot of things aboutIndia ..... just so you dont feel cheated

To all those who are not a party of Canara2k, dont worry, it's just an Internal joke. If you wanna learnn more about it, click here.

The Holy Cow is not the Master of all he surveys

2006-03-03T13:20:00.000+05:30
Is there anything at all that i do well? Err....This is something that I have thought about, quite a bit, since yesterday evening. And sadly, I have failed to come up with a satisfactory answer. (Well, the answer is no, which is a definite answer, but not satisfactory for me)

I guess I can blame this on my mentality of beginning something in the right earnest, and then totally losing interest in whatever it is. From what I hear from my parents, relatives, neighbor aunties and uncles and other assorted fuddy-duddies, it's the drawback of our generation. We are a bunch of confused, lazy people, who expect things to come too easy. I dont know if that's true, but that's what they think.

Coming back to more important topics (i.e. Myself...Narcissism is something I'm really good at), I just realised I am one of those "Jack of all trades, but a master of none". Lets start right from school. Studies were something that I never took seriously, but always managed to pass my exams. Of course, it took a lot of hard work at the end, but it was worth it, considering the fun i'd have on regular days, bumming around. So this meant I never learnt much at school. Whatever I learnt (If you can call it that) was promptly forgotten the next day. Sports was a strong point, or so I thought. Never came first or second in anything. But then I salvaged some pride (In my own eyes) by telling myself that it was competing that mattered, not winning (Yeah, Right!). (Wait......I remember coming 1st in some relay in college...If the other 3 guys wanna take credit...Piss off...I need this, my morale is dented right now). Cricket was a passion. I considered myself an all-rounder, and did pretty well, when we played friendly matches regularly. But when I played for school, I had scores of 0 and 1 in two matches to show for my all round prowess.

Fast Forward to college. This was where I shone brightest wrt my half baked skills. Computer Programming was so-so. Only here and there could I come up with brilliant code workarounds (All of them, memorably, came in my final year project). Sp0ort went for a toss, as I kept growing fatter and lazier. Maybe table tennis once in a while. Cricket was a shame, as I led my class team to spectaular defeats in the college tourneys. (But again, in the friendlies, I shone).

Coming to the present, I would rate myself as a pretty competent space monkey, but a total ass of a programmer. It still takes me almost an hour more than normal people to grasp a concept, to think of supernova level ideas. I can blah blah on but i'll give it a stop. I guess everyone can draw a fair picture of how I am.

All of this is OK for me. I can live and get by with it. This is because I think that I am the unparalleled master of the universe when it comes to getting an idea across, or when it comes to speaking my mind. This has held me in good stead (Mind you, i beep out the f***s when i speak to people higher up on the food chain...always helps).

The holy Cow shall moo on. Long live the cow!

Hey...wait a mo...ficky fick....ain't the cow feminine!!! Well, whatever, who gives a shit

Breakin Free

2006-03-02T15:59:00.000+05:30
It's been quite some days since I last composed a Blog. Well, that's because neither has there been anything happening in my life to gimme any sort of Inspiration to blog, nor do I have the time to take stock of hapenings around me so as to write about them. Frankly, I'm bored. I yearn for a change. The routine has gotten to me. Like Freddie Mercury once very famously said "I want to break free".

If I remember correctly, it was at a simlar time last year, around the end of March, i think, that I decided I needed a break and went out for a holiday with a coupla friends. It resulted in that memorable trip/trek to Kodachadri, which I'll never forget my whole life. It's deja vu all over again. Old wine in a new bottle, like they say.

This time though, I have set my sight higher i.e I plan to do a trip to Himachal Pradesh. I happened to meet a long lost uncle of mine (well, not excactly long lost, just hadn't seen him for like, ever) who runs a resort up there in Himalaya Zone. He says the resort is at the foothills of the Himalayas, with the mountains on one side and a stream on the other. That was enough to get me all hyper about making the trip sometime soon. Let me assure you that this trip will not have arduous treks along mountain ranges, nor will it have excessively long walks along the terrains. All i'll do is eat, sleep, read a book and do some fishing (The trouts are biting now, it seems and they also taste very good supposedly). All this for a measly six and a half grand (travel to and from Delhi, stay and food included). If anyone is interested in accompanying me on this trip, please leave a comment, and we can make some plans.

Moving on, summer's back. And i'm sulking. Most of my bad hair days are in the summer (It ain't a joke, I shed more when it's hot), and given the pathetic state of affairs, it does't seem like it'll take much longer before I join the evergrowing line of Bald Kini menfolk. I have toyed with shaving my head off completely, to see if it'll work out for me in the long run, but somehow I've never had the guts to pull off something like that. But given my unpredictable nature (to do all things stupid), I just might be clean shaven on top of the cranium, next time you see me.

The Holy cow has mooed.

Pics from my Road Trip - Shravanabelagola and Halebidu

2006-03-01T14:37:00.000+05:30
Many thanks to Keshava and Armin, my co-passengers on this trip.

Affirmation - Savage Garden

2006-02-21T15:43:00.000+05:30
As is my wont, I suffer from writers block sometimes. A sureshot way to keep blogging in such a case is to write about a song I like. The song below is by a group called Savage Garden (of course, they've now split and the lead singer Darren Hayes is now a major star in his own right)

When I first heard this song, I couldn't understand what it was about. But the more I listened to this song, the more it began to grow on me. This song speaks about how human nature is to always wants more than what is available, resulting in lack of happiness. Whenever i feel low, I listen to this song. It never fails to cheer me up. I also have a printout of the song stuck on my work desk for precisely this reason.

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument

I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands

I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you

I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do

I believe that beauty magazines promote low self-esteem

I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality

I believe that trust is more important than monogamy

I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul

I believe that family is worth more than money or gold

I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair

I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness

I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed

I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists

I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

The How to Kill series

2006-02-20T15:15:00.000+05:30
how to kill a defence minister

Ingredients

A cycle, preferably the good old Hero Jet, in a dilapidated condition.

One cool gun, which cannot be traced back to you. (if you are in Bihar, then a home made gun will work).

One dirt bike, which should be capable of 0-100 in 4 seconds.

At least 4 other friends who can assist you (after trying to deter you at first).

One corrupt defence minister (note: this works as well for other dirty politicians as well).

Method
1. Place one friend strategically in front of the defence ministers house, early in the morning, just before the DM leaves for his walk, repairing the broken hero Jet. If he's not the rocket scientist of the group, just make sure he knows how to turn the wheel of the inverted bicycle.

2. One friend disguised as a newspaper delivery boy. Make sure he has a coupla glam mags on him, so that the attention of horny security guards of the minister is diverted from the job to things much more exciting.]

3. Go Pillion on the dirt bike with your other friend driving. Drive slow at first, enabling you to take proper aim. Remember, you'll have to take careful aim, as you'll be shooting when you're moving.

4. Shoot and scoot. Use the power of the dirt bike to the max. Ensure you do not get caught in a traffic jam whilst escaping.

There....wasn't it easy? The next one of the "How to Kill" series will be on painless Suicide.

Damn Damn Damn

2006-02-15T16:26:00.000+05:30
This had been a day to forget for me. First, I wake up late and come by vehicle (a two wheeler, thankfully, but thats a minor mercy) to office, in chaotic Bangalore traffic. Then i spend 15 minutes in office trying to get that beautiful coat of mud off me. Lunch sucked today. I generally dont mind rice and rasam everyday, but today's rasam wasn't all that great. To top it all off, work has been erratic. Mind you, not beacuse I willed so, but because of forces beyond my control. And to top it all off, my trip to Germany, which was in the pipeline has been postponed. Now, I am not the kind of person who'll rue missing that trip, because I've already been there once, and I know how boring and lonely it can get. It got postponed yesterday, thanks to the delay in getting my Visa, and guess what, yup, one of life's ironies this is....I get my Visa today. Now what I can look forward to is answering the *$^%#@s when they ask me why i'm still in Bangalore, a stinkin' trip back home on a scooter, after a day of frustrating "no-end-achieved" work, eating shitty hotel food and sleeping(this part will be good, hopefully).....

But i'll back, I promise. Until then, Asta La Vista Baby

DONT PANIC

2006-02-13T11:51:00.000+05:30
If there's one book i wouldn't mind reading over and over again, then it is the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams. Here's what Adams has to say at the beginning of the book :

How to leave the Planet :

1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (713) 483 - 3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.
2. If they do not co-operate, phone any friend you may have in the White House - (202) 456 - 1414 - to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
3. If you don't have any friends in the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107 - 095 - 295 - 9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.
4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011 - 39 - 6 - 6982, and I gather his switchboard is infalliable.
5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

Wish me Happy Reading.

The Master of the Universe

2006-02-10T16:03:00.000+05:30

The Excesses of the Welfare State - A Closer Look

2006-02-10T12:10:00.000+05:30
This post is definitely inspired by Rang De Basanti. After watching the movie, a common refrain I heard was, no government on earth will do the things that they got done during a peaceful demonstration. It would be a PR disaster, they said.

But look back into the recent past, then you will see that the state has indulged in such excesses all along. When it does, the memory of it lingers on for a few days. And then, we just forget about it. I wish to present a few instances of "The excesses of the Welfare State" (Thanks to God for helping me out here)

The Karunanidhi Arrest

Well, seeing is believing. Nobody would have imagined that the government was capable of giving out such orders. I clearly remember being disgusted by the scenes that were flashed on TV as the drama had already unfolded. I did not see it live, because I, along with the rest of the world, was sleeping! Even to this day, I fail to understand the motive behind this midnight arrest. A perfect case of a PR disaster, conveniently forgotten.

Operation Majnu

One of the most chauvinistic "Operations" I have ever heard of. In the city of Lucnow, the morality guardians of the city decide that it is improper for a boy and a girl to take walks in a garden. They cannot hold hands, cannot hug each other etc. So what do they decide to do? Humiliate them, in full glare of national media! Reviling, to say the least. To see a woman officer, slapping around innocent teens in such a humiliating fashion made my blood boil. Die in hell, you #@$%&. On a sadder note, a boy and a girl, who were humiliated such during this "Operation" (I still can't get why they cannot launch an operation to check crime. I pay taxes for this reason.) went missing. Hope they're back.

The Honda Factory Case, Gurgaon
I am not sure of what exactly happened here, whether the fight was actually started by the striking factory workers, but the following police brutality would have made Hitler look like a do-gooder. This incident caused wide spread protests against the excesses involved, causing no one lesser than the Prime Minister to intervene. What has happened thereafter, I have no knowledge of. But I hope some action has been taken against the guilty, irrespective of whether they are from the police or from the striking workers.

Student Union Protests in Chennai

Pretty Common, for some student wings of political parties to protest "Commercialization in education". I may have some difference of opinion with them, but I wouldn't bring it out the way the cops did. Sad, this happening in Chennai, which I hold in high regard for the "learned" feeling that it exudes.

What we need is a legislation to curb such excesses. It is sad to see the cops using brute power (obviously under the instructions of the higher-ups) to quell what are generally peaceful demonstrations. But this again is a thorny issue, as most of the strikes that are called by political parties tend to turn ugly at the smallest provocation. This is definitely an issue to ponder over.

I would also like to commend the work of the NHRC (national Human Rights Commission), the watchdog of Human Rights in our country, for their active partaking of investigations that follow after such incidents, and giving an unbiased opinion of the events. Sadly, it is a norm, rather than an exception that the state gets indicted.

Change, the order of the day

2006-02-08T18:00:00.000+05:30
I was a toddler, no more than the length of my Dad's arm
I changed into a strapping young man, the tallest in the class

I never used to study much when I was in higher primary
I changed into a mugpot to pass the 10th board exam

I never listened to English music because I couldn't understand it
I changed into a hard rock freak

I had the most perfect hair when I was younger
I changed into a prematurely balding man

I never thought I could live in a different country from my parents
I changed into a lonely son, a whole ocean across

I never expected to have someone I loved to pieces, not from the family
I changed into a committed boyfriend, till death do us part

I never expected to jump jobs so early in my career
I changed to pursue a better offer, albeit with guilt

I never thought I could publish my thoughts on a widely read forum
I changed to write my own blog

I never thought I would change the template of my blog so often
But....I changed it

welcome to the new look

Only when you've lost everything..

2006-02-07T14:57:00.000+05:30
.....are you free to do anything.

This is one of the more famous lines from Fightclub, which set me thinking. Let me analyze this statement in the following way. Take an example of a moderately successful man. He has a salaried job, has made the down payment for his house, is repaying his car loan installments on time.....In short, a model citizen, who forsees no great difficulty, luck willing, in his near future. Now, can you ever imagine this person trying to do something that is out of line from how he currently lives his life. Chances are I'll turn vegetarian before he does that. Why? Because he has a lot at stake here. Why on earth would anybody do something to disturb the fine balance achieved in ones lifestyle? (of course, there might be exceptions, but they are far in between)

Now consider a person opposite to the one mentioned above. Free from all burdens and expectations, with nothing to lose, he can go for broke. Like it's said, when you're right at the bottom of the pit, the only way for you is to go up.

I continue to be amazed by Fightclub.

Mooing on, I have found out that Vijay Krishna stands to make much more than me (theoritically) by helping the whatsisnames of the third world. I feel miserable. How I wish I get a couple more offers! I cant wait to see the light of the day, when I, Vinayak Kini, will be in the blogsphere, the richest man in India. (If Azim Premji can be the richest man based on his stock ownership of Wipro, then I am rich too....Stocks or to-be-made scam money, both of them can be of little value in no time).

I unearthed a little piece of trivia, and will post it as a question. If any of you know the answer, leave a comment behind (with the answer, of course)....You would've seen many movies, where the actors normally use the exclamation "Jesus.H.Christ"! (If you haven't, take my statement to be true...which it is, BTW). The question is, how did the term Jesus.H.Christ come into use?

[Today's Mood] : Doubtful (about getting my Visa)

[Today's Music] : Hoobastank

The Great Nigerian E-mail Scam

2006-02-06T11:17:00.000+05:30
FROM: BARR.CHARLES IKEJI
GOLDEN CHAMBERS & CO
56, OLD OJO ROAD AMUWO,
LAGOS- NIGERIA.

My Dearest Kini,

I am sorry for bothering you and please do not be surprised at this mail but I crave your indulgence to just give it fair attention to convince yourself. I am Barr. Charles Ikeji, a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to Mark Kini, a foreigner who was an oil merchant here and used to work with Handebull Construction & Oil Services in Nigeria. Hereinafter referred to as my client.

On the 6th of May, 2002 it was reported to us that my Client and his wife were involved in a Local Plane Crash at Kano State,which en route from sokoto to Abuja(the capital city of Nigeria),all occupants in the Plane lost their lives,unfortunately on this same flight were other dignitaries like the former Nigeria Sports Minister and a host of others.

Since then I have made several enquiries to the embassies here to locate any of my client's extended relations, these effort proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you and I feel it is by divine providence that I am contacting you in this matter.

I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the fund valued at US$17 million left behind by my client before it gets confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank , where my late client operated his account. The bank has since issued me a notice, to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated by their next board meeting. For the fact that I have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives during these past period of time, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased and now that I have finally located you, I honestly think it does not matter even if you are not related to my late client or even if you do not bear the same surname with him, the MOST IMPORTANT thing is that you are INTERESTED to execute the matter with me and since he did not leave any record behind even at the bank, will have no problem to convince the bank that you are related to him because it is better for you and me to claim this money than for the bank to seize it as unclaimed.

I will present you to the bank as a COUSIN to my late client and I will secure some necessary legal documents to back up this claim so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you, instead of the bank confiscating the money. I feel the money will be more useful to you and me than the bank. Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the modalities for transfer and I will give you the full details.

I have all necessary information and have arranged to process all the relevant legal documents needed to back you up for the claim. All I require from you, is your honest co-operation to enable us see this transaction through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement, that will protect you from any breach of the law and as we progress,you will also have the opportunity to confirm directly from the bank about this deposit. For more privacy of your reply. PLEASE REPLY TO MY PERSONAL EMAIL:charlesmine37@yahoo.com( This email box is strictly confidential) and I will give you telephone number for more details.

Respectfully,

Barrister Charles ikeji

Alcoholism a sin?? Think again ....

2006-02-02T16:54:00.000+05:30
Disclaimer : To be taken in a lighter vien only. These sayings may or may not reflect my opinion on any form of alcohol there may exist, depending on whether you're my mum or not.

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones
at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."