Monday, February 20, 2006

The How to Kill series

how to kill a defence minister


A cycle, preferably the good old Hero Jet, in a dilapidated condition.

One cool gun, which cannot be traced back to you. (if you are in Bihar, then a home made gun will work).

One dirt bike, which should be capable of 0-100 in 4 seconds.

At least 4 other friends who can assist you (after trying to deter you at first).

One corrupt defence minister (note: this works as well for other dirty politicians as well).

1. Place one friend strategically in front of the defence ministers house, early in the morning, just before the DM leaves for his walk, repairing the broken hero Jet. If he's not the rocket scientist of the group, just make sure he knows how to turn the wheel of the inverted bicycle.

2. One friend disguised as a newspaper delivery boy. Make sure he has a coupla glam mags on him, so that the attention of horny security guards of the minister is diverted from the job to things much more exciting.]

3. Go Pillion on the dirt bike with your other friend driving. Drive slow at first, enabling you to take proper aim. Remember, you'll have to take careful aim, as you'll be shooting when you're moving.

4. Shoot and scoot. Use the power of the dirt bike to the max. Ensure you do not get caught in a traffic jam whilst escaping.

There....wasn't it easy? The next one of the "How to Kill" series will be on painless Suicide.


Dev said...

I volunteer for the drivin...

Aparna S Mallya said...

I think u'll make a better paper boy tho. u on the cycle with all those magazines will have the security gaurds rolling on the floor laughing. Easier fr yr friends on the bike.

dharmu said...

@vinnu, is this the post no-visa-passport-germany syndrome?
you have got to the roads to write articles on killing people?

anyway, if you plan to make the movie, add me in the shooter list, i aim well !!

@apy, i agree on dev's part...but do you think the bike could afford to hold him?

Vinayak said...

Cycling is not my forte. I'll play the rocket scientist :)

Err...watchamajigger syndrome are ya talkin about? I'm perfectly happy thank you...and killing people is my way of expressing it :)