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From Monkeys to me

Yessir, evolution has come a full circle.

Now for random musings:

I have now gone two weekends without beer, which means that my code is no longer valid. And the effects can be seen. I have actually lost some weight. It was my goal (Post : Welcome to the new year) to lose 10 kilos by the end of the year. I am nowhere on track, but there's always hope.

Coming round to the topic of hope, looks like the German team has performed well beyond what everyone had hoped for. To be honest, at the beginning of the World cup, I wasn't too confident of the Germans doing well. But boy, have they proved everyone (me included)wrong with their excellent attacking play! Their Polish forward combination of Klose and Podolski, that imperious midfielder who goes by the name Mikhail Ballack have been stand out performers for the team. If there's a niggling worry, then it's the defense. And let's accept the fact that Jens Lehmann is nowhere close to the one-man-defense that Ollie Kahn was in the previous World Cup. Anyways, I hope Germany does progress ahead, even if it comes at the cost of sentimental favorite Argentina. After all, I earn my bread and butter in a German firm.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has given Bangalore what Radio City terms "One tight slap" by criticising our traffic sense. Not that anything's gonna change, of course. We'll still remain blissfully unaware of traffic rules. I suits Bangalorean psyche the best. Long live lane cutting, unnecessary honking, high beam city driving, red light jumping, pavement driving, etc etc. Phew, our PM will have a heart attack, methinks, if he drives around like us common folk do.

I have been unsuccessfully trying to make PJ's about the Rakhi-Mika episode. I cannot seem to come up with good ones. Here's one I could come up with anyways:

Q : What did Mika say after Rakhi filed a case against him?
Ans : Sawant mein lag gayi aag, ke dil mera.....

Pathetic, I know. Forget you even read it. If you have any good ones, leave 'em as a comment. I'll put up a link to it.

The Holy Cow has mooed.

Underrated Hindi Movies

Grab a copy of these today, if you haven't watched them yet! I gaurantee that you will not feel cheated.

Waisa Bhi Hota Hai - Part 2

The Part 2 is just to grab your attention. There was no part one (but there is in the movie...You'll see for yourself). If you thought Arshad Warsi was good in Munnabhai MBBS, you're gonna love him in this. Shot Tarrantino style, it marked a first in Bollywood. You'll know this movie better for the song "Allah Ke Bande".

Kaun

An RGV classic. The only movie where I liked Urmila's scared girl act. Manoj Bajpai's performance in this is on par with the one in Satya. He kjust keeps getting on your nerves, like his character requires him to. The ending is a total shocker. A must watch for all fans of the horror-thriller genre.


Dil Pe Mat Le Yaar

Directed by Hansal Mehta, this is one of the first Hindi movies to experiment with black humor. Bajpai, in a total reverse of his get-on-you-nerves performance in Kaun, is very very restrained. And to show how far ahead of it's time the movie was, the herione is shown as a smoker and someone who condones pre-marital sex. And she's still not a vamp!

More will follow...

Tagzone - 6 Weird things about me

Picking up a tag by Harsha, where I have to list 6 weird things about meself.

1. I love to watch B Grade movies (there, I said it). They make me feel better about myself. It's nice to know there are bigger losers than me.

2. I buy Books and DVDs by the bushelful. And I don't read or view most of them. (Not exactly the kinda thing you'd save up for a rainy day, is it?)

3. I'm penny wise, pound foolish.

4. My favorite English song is this. No, really.

5. I can levitate a can of sardines 5 feet from ground level. But that's only if I've had cornflakes for breakfast.

6. I don't lie. Mostly.

OK. 5 and 6 were (a little) off the mark. But I cannot help it. I don't have any "things". I as regular/normal as they come

I tag Apy, Akshay and Vijay Krishna and YOU.

Kiss and Tell : A lesson on getting constructive feedback about Birthday Cake, the Mika way

Short Introduction : It is Mika's birthday. he wants to know what Rakhi Sawant thinks of his birthday cake.


Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you.....



Eat some cake..from my mouth



How does the cake taste?



Aargh...That was horrid, and I'm not just talking about the cake



How dare you insult my cake? Pow, Biff, Wham....



Let's leave.



Lesson: Never insult the cake. NEVER

Reconnecting to my childhood

What would you do if I sang out tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song.
I will try not to sing out of key, yeah

Oh, baby I get by with a little help from my friends
By with a little help from my friends.
All I need is my buddies
By with a little help from my friends
I said I’m gonna get by with a little
By with a little help from my friends - whoa oh oh oh oh

There has been no TV show I have connected as much to as The Wonder Years. For the uninitiated, It is a show which chronicles the life of young Kevin Arnold growing up in the late 60's and early 70's.

But the beauty of the show lies in the fact that you can see a part of you in Kevin. I have lost count of the number of times, where in my mind, I have exclaimed, "Hey, thats me!". Innumerable times I have shed a silent tear, given that knowing smile, and hung my head in embarrasment, all the time seeing myself on the television screen. That was how much the show moved me. Browsing through Akshay's blog has opened the floodgates of memories again.

As the time has passed by, I (and I am sure, all of us) have developed (if you can call it that) into a cynic, hardened by what I have seen happening around me. I need to reconnect to those days when I had nothing to bother me except issues like girls *wink* and not getting on the wrong side of the cane brandished by my dad. And The Wonder years will help me in achieving just that.

The hunt is on. Inspiration has come. The no-more-DVDs promise will be broken. If you can loan me/sell me a copy of the series, drop a mail at mvkini@gmail.com.

For the uninitiated, watch the pilot episode here. You will not be disappointed. You'll see a part of you in Kevin. Or vice versa. And it's allowed to shed a tear. In memory of the innocence lost....

The Beautiful game?? Yes, Yes, Oh Yes...

Notice how the Serbs don't even get a touch of the ball. You've gotta love it. Argentina have given us the goal of the tournament yet. All the 40 yard curlers notwithstanding.

Faith restored. Thanks to VK for bringing this to my notice. I have goose pimples right now.

The Chronicles of Vinayak : The Weekday, the Weekend and the Draught Beer

Life is one big vicious routine right now. Except for the odd trip that I make here and there, the title of the post pretty much sums up my life. Here is a blow-by-blow account on how the holy cow lives his life:

The average weekday : Wake up at 5:45. Fight with mum before doing so, trying make convincing argument, for why I should NOT be going jogging. Common excuses range from the beliveable "It just rained, roads will be flooded" to "Cant you see I'm fighting dragons?". Then realise a fully awake Mother's logical reasoning cannot be matched by feeble protests. Get ready by 6:15 and set out for the ritual. Come back by 6:45 and take quick bath followed by stuffing food in mouth. Leave for work at 7 am (yes, 7!), reach office by 8 and settle into the seat. 8 - 12:15 [total memory loss] 12:15 - 1 lunch 1 - 5:15 [total memory loss]. Back home by 6:30. Now, I have to give credit to the powers-that-be at my workplace. By altering the time table a bit (from the erstwhile 9-6 to the present 8-5 system), they have ensured that we dont have to face the full fury of peak hour Bangalore traffic. Once back home, watch movie on DVD, play some badminton with friends, eat healthy dinner, and get into bed by 9:30. Repeat the same for 5 days a week. How does it sound?? Not very interesting, ain't it?

The average weekend : Lemme try my hand at coding and expressing an average weekend. (I'm faced with a peculiar situation here. I know that the world knows me as a Software engineer. But my job isn't the typical SE kinda thing. Gives rise to the Chandler Bing situation when people ask me about what I do...Don't blame me if the code does not make sense)

void weekend();
{
if( day == "Saturday")
{
if (DVD_req == "TRUE")
goto National_Market;
else Stay_at_home;
}
if( day == "Saturday" && time =="Evening")
{
if ( Money_in_hand && Company == "True" )
goto Pub_playing_loud_music;
else Stay_at_home;
}
if( day == "Sunday")
Send_time_with_the_gurl;
else Live_to_Repent;
}

The Draught Beer : Life is rosy. It finally seems like there's a reason to live. Hallelujah. (Strictly Saurday nights only. Or maybe the (more than) occasional Weekday.)

Breaking News: Balayya to sue Wachowski Brothers

Telugu superstar and Tanushree Dutta's favorite Southern Superstar, veteran of many a movie, Nandamuri Taraka Balakrishna, lovingly called Balayya Babu by his adoring fans (and not-so-charitable names by others) has revealed in press conference today that he plans to sue the Wachowski brothers for shamelessly plagarising from his 1983 smash hit "Flying Veerudu". The movie in question : "The Matrix". Providing ample proof of the plagarism, Balayya said : "Look how shamelessly they have kaapeed. And that hero is not kapeed even 1/12345th the emotion on my face. Shame I say."

In other unrelated news, former super shooter turned failed firing range instructor Jaspal Rana has shaved off his goatee. He refuses to elaborate why, but he was seen in deep conversation with Balayya just a few days ago, after a special screening of Flying Veerudu.

watch the video below, for more on this scoop.

Striking Back (with no vengeance)

It's been quite some time since I blogged. Well, it's not like anyone's been missing me or something, but I have to say that it's a relief to be moderately free, after being quite immersed in work.

The holy cow looks around and does not like what he sees or reads about (most of it anyways). The main issue hogging headlines here in Bengloor is the not so nice NICE controversy. In plain talk, it can be analysed in the following way. Our sorry excuse of a CM (who actually is a movie producer cum uber real estate developer) decides that he has a lot of money to make if he scuttles the already long delayed project. And Deve "I-will-slit-my-throat" Gowda concurs, so what the hassle? Now, here's something interesting. When it was revealed that HDK owned land adjacent to the BMIC project, Deve Gowda feigned amnesia about his comment that (his most oft repeated quote, after I-will-eat-poison) he would slit his throat. Damn! And look at me, I'd already got the knives out. Eat dung, Messrs. Gowda and Swamy.

Rakhi Sawant's got balls (not literally of course). Of course, there is no need for prime time media coverage for the antics that led to proof of the same, but still, I guess looking at Ms Sawant will be better than watching ugly old Arjun Singh for a change. Taking a look at the photo of horny lilttle Mika frenching Rakhi almost made me puke. Two reasons behind it. One, does Mika really believe that he is irresistable demi-god kinda hunk whom women will fell is an honor to french? *Puke* . Two, look at the jeering faces in the background. It's clear that nobody gave a shit when a guy was forcibly tryiong to kiss a girl, who, in plain view, was trying to avoid the same. Disgusting, but i guess they're related to those perverts who rape women in moving cars. *Double Puke*. I support you, Rakhi, and I hope that sumbitch Mika gets "Something Something" in return for his crass behavior.

The only thing good about my life these days is the World Cup. There are some very good reasons behind it. One, it makes me feel good about the money I blew up on buying the large screen telly and the digital signal decoder. Two, India is not playing, hence no fear of feeling despondent after a game. Three, Pakistan is also not playing. Hence, they're still shite.

On the movie front, I have taken a couple of harsh decisions on my big spending on DVDs. No more buying until I finish watching the 100 odd movies that I have already bought. I wouldn't be surprised if I find a few rupees (well quite a few, actually) more in my bank account at the end of the month. But now, I wait with immense anticipation, as it's payback time. I am not being immodest when I say that my collection truly rocks. Here's to a nice time in couch potato zone. Sigh, football and movies. What more can I ask for?

The holy cow has mooed (and will continue to do so on a more frequent basis). Watch this space for more updates.

We're not racist....We're just a little pissed - P3

My viewpoint

There are 2 kinds of North Indians for me. (Thanks to Keshava for putting in words what I had in my mind all along) Those who come down to Bangalore, love the place, and make an effort to blend in. And then, there are those who live here but crib about the place and about the people. It is about the latter that I wish to put forth my viewpoint on.

Let me make it clear that cribbing about a place is perfectly OK by me. In fact, I guess nobody cribs as much as me when it comes to the condition of our roads, or the traffic situation etc. But it's really ridiculous to complain about people, to look down upon them as second grade citizens. Is it just because we speak in a funny accent, or we cannot speak our national language too well? If yes, then my faith in appealing to good sense lies shattered.

Do you really believe you are superior?

I see no reason to be diplomatic anymore, as I am talking about a section of the population I don't have much respect for. If you believe that you are a superior race, then please heed my unsolicited advice. Get out of my city. Go wherever else it is that you consider to be a better place for uber races to survive. And yeah, before you get suckered into the feeling that you actually are "better", let me lull you out of that false sense of security. You are not!

Give us respect, maybe you'll get some back

Have any of you guys ever tried learning the local language? Relax, I'm not asking you write a Kannada epic. I had a friend who learnt a coupla words. Yaake, Yeshtu, Yenu, Yelli etc. And everytime he went out, he could get by pefectly with a few words. And he used to tell me the bus conductors/ auto drivers used to grin at him and treat him with *literally* new found respect for making an attempt at least speak a few words in the language that they understood. He said to me, "They seem to be elated they do not have to make an attempt to speak in a language foriegn to them". The best way to show respect to the locals around you is to try and learn a bit of their culture. Learn a little of the language. Give a smile once in a while. I doesn't cost you anything. remember, if anyone's doing a favor, then it's the locals to you. You dont have to act like you deserve all the care and understanding in the world, and that you can be rudely dismissive to the rest of us. Give us some respect, and maybe you'll get some back.